End of the Rainbow
by Tauna Petit-Strawn
Summary: Nick is injured and gets amnesia. What happens next?  This story took a turn I did not expect, hence the reason for new summary . Really should be romance, angst, tragedy and drama.Rating always due to change.
1. Chapter 1

I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. I have wondered for a long time, 'what if' it was Nick who wound up with amnesia, not Jarrod. The idea finally rolled around long enough to get my attention. Thanks to my Beta Reader, though all mistakes are my own.

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter One**

The sun lit down upon the two bedroom cabin and the inhabitant the small three acres surrounding it held. Catraoine "Cat" O'Brian stood on the porch, inhaling the fresh morning air and praying to make it through another day. Truth was, lately she'd been fighting a bit of depression. Her mother had passed on five years ago, her father two years ago and her brothers and their wives had all moved back east. A couple of them were even talking about returning to their home in Europe. Yes, she could have gone with them, but California was the only place she'd ever felt at home.

She started down the steps and headed for the chicken coop when she saw him, a stranger leaning forward in his saddle, almost to the point of lying down on the horse's neck. He had to be hurt. She ran towards the stranger. Sure enough, there was blood on the side of his head and on his side. She hurried and mounted the horse, wrapped her one arm around the man's waist and took the reins in her other. Cat pushed the horse as fast as she dared. It didn't take long to get the gentleman to the house.

"Thank you." The man managed to get the words out as she dismounted and helped him to do the same. It wasn't long before she had him lying on her bed and was tending to his wounds. She would have asked him what happened, but she couldn't; he was unconscious.

Cat surveyed the damage as she tended to the injured stranger. Besides the head wound and what turned out to be a bullet wound-only the angle of the wound told her the bullet had exited out the back-there were bruises on his chest and on his back. Somebody had attacked him; why was another story. "Well, mister," Cat took the man's boots off and pulled the blanket up, "looks like me brothers be mistaken, I didn't 'ave to be goin' with them. Me nursin' days 'ere be not quite over yet."

While her patient slept, Cat sat in the chair next to the bed mending the stranger's shirt. Only when he opened his eyes did she put the shirt down, stand up and rest her hand upon the top of the headboard as she looked upon the dark haired stranger. "The man awakes, may I be inquirin' what your name be and what you be doin' travelin' on your 'orse 'urt and in need of 'elp?"

"I…" the man's eyebrows turned down as he looked around, his eyes resting on the boots on the floor, spurs on the chair, a black Stetson on the dresser and black vest hanging on the wall. Were they his?

"Mister?" Cat grew concerned when the man did not answer. "What your name be?" She kept an eye on the man's face; she had a way of 'reading' people, and she didn't like what she was reading now. She hoped she was wrong in the conclusions she was starting to draw; she wasn't.

"I…I don't know." The man looked at the various items again. "Are they mine?" A part of him felt they had to belong to someone else, the other part said he should know them.

Cat sighed. "The items be yours; I snagged 'em off of you when I 'ad to nurse you. You 'ad no papers on you. If you 'ave no name, I'll 'ave to be givin' you one. That bein' the case, I'll call you Patrick and you can use me last name of O'Brian and," she scratched the back of her neck, "right or wrong, if anyone be by you're me cousin. I'll tend you, but I'll not be marrin' me good name for you."

He didn't see what choice he had, he wasn't exactly in a position to get up and leave, and even if he was, where would he go? "_Who am I?" _he asked himself, along with, "_How did I get hurt?_" It bothered him, this not knowing who he was or why he was injured in the first place. Had he asked for it in some way, or had someone attacked him for some odd reason? He may not have those answers, but he knew the woman was right when she said he had to have a name and a way to explain being in her house. "Patrick O'Brian." He said the name then muttered under his breath, "Cousin, I can live with. O'Brian? Got to find another name, I don't even come close to sounding Irish." He closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

He may have been muttering, but Cat still heard him. She may not like it, but he was right. She may be able to pass him off as her cousin, but not as an O'Brian. As she went back outside, Cat began running one name after another through her mind, names that existed on her mother's side of the family. Some of them were from places like England and New York. After all, the man had to have a name. By the time she stepped back inside, she had one she thought might work, if the stranger would go for it.

During the time Cat was going over names with her patient, Heath and Jarrod were looking for Nick. "Where is he?" Heath asked as he looked up and down the road; he and Jarrod stood outside the arena that was being used for the auction the three brothers were supposed to be attending. He didn't like this; Nick was hours late and the auction was already starting.

"I don't know." Jarrod was worried also; this wasn't like Nick. "But, if he's not here by the end of the auction, we best forget about our plans for spending the night and go looking for him instead." Heath wasn't about to argue with that one; there was no way on earth he was going back to Stockton without his brother.

Having made sure her "neighbor", one Paul Miller who lived two miles from her home, would check in on her "cousin", Cat had made her way to the auction. They were auctioning off anywhere from equipment that mines needed to horses; it was the horses she was interested in. More than one head turned as she made her way up to the fence; she had to be right next to the fence, at barely five feet two she couldn't see otherwise.

"Sorry." Cat pulled away when she accidentally bumped into the stranger. Her eyebrows went up just a little, in his suit and tie, the gentleman looked like he'd be more comfortable in a doctor's office or a court room. "I didn't mean to be 'ittin' you."

"Quite alright, Miss." Jarrod smiled as she continued walking until she was right up against the fence.

"If's she's here for the auction," Heath kept an eye on the stranger, "she'll be lucky if the auctioneer hears her bidding."

"Unless she has a voice like Mother's." Jarrod grinned and headed for the young woman, as did Heath. They figured, if she was too soft, one of them could help out. A few hours later, Jarrod and Heath walked away with what they needed and Cat had another horse.

"I thank you kindly, sirs." Cat smiled at the gentlemen before her, as loud as she thought she was at times, it was the men calling themselves Jarrod and Heath Barkley that had helped her get the attention of the auctioneer when it came time, "I could be fixin' you some supper, if you wish it." She figured it was the least she could do for them.

"Thank you," Heath looked around, "but we can't stay." He was champing at the bit to go look for Nick, and the small talk was driving him up a wall.

"God bless you." Cat chatted with them for a few more minutes then mounted her own horse and led the one she'd purchased away.

For a second, Jarrod thought about going after the young woman, but then turned his attention to catching up with Heath. His brother was right when he said they didn't have time; they had to find Nick.


	2. Patrick

I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beta Reader, though all mistakes are my own.

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Two**

"Patrick Barnes," Cat stood in the door way to the bedroom with her arms crossed, "just what do you thinks you be doin'? Doc said for you to be stayin' in bed for a good three days and it's barely been over a day. Back in bed with you!" 'Patrick' would have argued, but a pain had shot up his side and it was strong enough to force him to lie down.

"See," Cat hurried over by his side when she saw the look of sheer pain that came upon his face, "I be right and so be the doctor." She laughed as the man growled softly; he reminded her of her own father when he got hurt. He had never liked being confined when there were things to be done. Apparently, the man before her was the same way.

"I have to do something to earn my wage 'round here." Patrick looked at the woman who had saved him from who knows what. "I can't just lie around."

Cat put her one hand on the headboard and the other one on her hip. "Listen 'ere lad." She had to hold back a laugh at the raised eyebrow the man gave her when she called him lad, probably had something to do with the fact that he was, most likely, older than she was. Oh well, he could live with it, "there' be plenty of work for you when you're whole again; after all, 'tis a workin' farm I 'ave 'ere, and every one that takes shelter under this roof is expected to work."

Patrick started at the words she spoke; there was something familiar about them, but there wasn't. His head started to hurt as he tried to remember. The more he tried to remember, the worse it hurt. In fact, it got so bad he actually grabbed his head with his hands. Cat flew to the cupboard and took down some medicine she kept in store for such occasions. Before long her patient had some relief from the pain.

"Now, you won't be movin' will you?" Cat once again folded her arms and looked sternly at the man before her. She figured if the man was going to act like a stubborn mule, she could too.

Patrick couldn't help but stare. There was something awfully familiar in the woman's stance and in the way she held her ground. But what? It was obvious she had no clue to who he was, so it couldn't because they'd met before. "Yes, ma'am." He answered.

Cat chuckled, "Name's Catraoine O'Brian, Miss O'Brian or just plain Cat, but not ma'am. I'm not bein' your wife and I 'm not your bloomin' mother! I'm just a cousin you be stuck with for now!"

Now it was Patrick who chuckled. She spoke the truth, guess he could oblige her. "Yes, Cat." He knew if the two of them were to continue passing him off as her cousin, he had to call her by her first name, and there was no way he was going to try to say Catraoine. If he had known who was visiting the Millers at the time, he would have changed his mind.

Heath and Jarrod stood outside the three bedroom home belonging to Mr. and Mrs. Miller. Mrs. Miller, a friendly Dutch woman, shook her head as her visitors explained what they were doing at her home. "Naw, I've seen no new faces around here. My Paul, he went over there to the O'Brian home," she pointed to the small home off in the distance, "to help Cat with her cousin the other day, but Mr. Barnes is the only 'new member', as it were, to this small community. From what he, my husband, says, the man is hurt and mending so if ya are thinking to go there, I'd think again. That poor woman has it hard enough tending to that there farm and a hurt cousin without worrying about keeping an eye out for anyone."

Remembering the name from the day before, they both recalled the young woman saying she was keeping quite busy tending to her injured cousin and had no time for much else. That being the case, they mounted their horses and rode the other way. By the time night fell, they'd had no choice but to send a telegram to the family telling them Nick had gone missing and they were going to continue looking in the next town down.

The stars shone through the slightly opened window, sending a nice, cool, gentle breeze though the room. Patrick, who was propped up against the extra pillows Cat had brought in to him, was again looking at the boots, the black vest hanging on the wall, the spurs and the black Stetson that set on the dresser, "_The items be yours…" "What about Patrick Barnes? Me mum's sister, she lives in New York, married a man by the name of Barnes. Can ye be livin' with that name until ye 'as your own back, lad?" _He would have to live with it for now.

From his bed he could see, and hear, Cat singing while she worked on supper; the bedroom door was opened and the kitchen was right in view. While he truly appreciated the compassion the young woman was showing him, and he did love the words to the song, he wished there was a polite way to ask the woman not to sing. As it was, it sounded like every animal within hearing range knew the same song. He was more than grateful when she quit and brought him his supper. Her cooking turned out to make up for the bad singing; bangers and mash seemed an odd thing to call sausages and mashed potatoes, but it was delicious, so much so he even asked for seconds.

Seeing how she wasn't that hungry, Cat walked over to the small chest that set up against the window and opened it. 'Patrick' was surprised when she pulled out a flute and sat down. How was he to know it was her nightly habit to play the instrument? "_Hope she plays better than she sings,_" he couldn't help but think. He was amazed as she began playing, any animal who thought they'd found the perfect spot to sing had to leave. Cat's ability to play the long silver instrument was a definite improvement over the singing. He didn't realize it, but he'd been frowning. Now, a smile slowly spread over his face as he allowed himself to get lost in the beautiful music coming out of the instrument.

As if she could read his mind, Cat stopped playing for a second and smiled, "Don't worry, next time I cook, I'll be findin' some cotton to plug your ears with." He stared at her as she laughed and went back to playing the flute. No one had to tell her how bad her singing was; she already knew!


	3. Chapter 3

I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beta Reader, though all mistakes are my own.

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Three**

Patrick was sitting on the edge of the bed when a knock came on the door, Cat answered it and had to bite her tongue and force herself to be polite. It was Matthew Miller, Paul's brother. While she loved Paul and his wife, his beanpole of a brother not only lacked meat on his bones, but a functioning brain as well. At least, in her opinion he never acted as if he had one.

"What you be wantin'?" She closed the door slightly and moved in such a way to make it clear he was not welcome in the house. It did not pass by Patrick, and he was instantly on the alert. If there was going to be trouble, he wanted to know about it.

"Now come on," the smile Matthew put on his face was so fake it wasn't even funny, "Paul told me your cousin was here. I just figured I'd be neighborly and come and welcome him."

_"Welcome 'im me foot, more like try to talk 'im into sellin' me 'orses to you more like it!" _Cat kept the thought to herself as she did not move, "Patrick's still 'ealin' and needs 'is rest. You'll 'ave to wait. Good day, sir." She went to close the door only to find Matthew's foot in the door. She was furious. "I be tellin' you 'e can't visit right now! Now kindly take your foot out of me door!" she barked angrily.

Matthew had no intention of just walking away. "Man needs visitors even when he's…" Matthew didn't get any further, as he saw Patrick leaning against the entrance way to the bedroom glaring at him. There was something in the dark haired stranger's eyes that had him backpeddling as fast as he could. "I'll come back another time then." He quickly removed his foot and scurried off.

After shutting the door, Cat hurried over to her 'cousin's' side, "Maybe you should be takin' another day in bed." The last thing she needed was for him to go getting worse on her, not with everything else she had on her plate.

"I'll go crazy if I do that." Patrick made his way to the table very slowly and once he was sitting down he looked toward the door. "Who was he?"

"The black sheep of the Miller family." Cat sat down and did not try to hide her disgust. "'e wants me 'orses and I won't sell to 'im. Bet you all I 'ave 'e's thinkin' 'e can get you to sell the animals to 'im behind me back. 'Tis the only reason 'e 'as to be comin' over 'ere."

Patrick was appalled. Why would he go selling any animal, or anything, to someone when they didn't belong to him in the first place? There was something about buying and selling horses that felt familiar, only problem was he didn't know if it was because he actually had experience with it, or if he just wanted it that way. "Can I see them?"

Cat's eyebrows rose slightly, then she shrugged her shoulders. "I'll be showin' them to you after you get somethin' in your belly and if you'll be promisin' me not to be walkin' faster than your body can take."

Patrick smiled at the woman before him. He had no desire to push his luck and make her made; after all, he'd hate to lose such a pretty nurse. "I promise."

While Patrick ate breakfast, Jarrod and Heath were sitting in a saloon talking about their failure to find Nick. "We're gonna have to go to the sheriff and ask him if he'll help." Heath was more than worried; he didn't like not knowing what had happened to Nick. He kept telling himself the man was alive, but in the corner of his mind remained the fear that his brother had met up with some sort of accident and the outcome had not been good.

Jarrod knew they needed help; he also knew his spare time was running out. "I have to head back, and you know it. We'll stop in at the sheriff's office and tell him what's going on, then, when we get home, I'll wire the Pinkertons. We can keep our eyes and ears open as well."

Heath found himself angry at Jarrod, and then chastised himself. He knew Jarrod was just as worried as he was, but he also had obligations that were becoming pressing. Heath would just send Jarrod home by himself, but he couldn't stomach the idea of something happening to Jarrod too and not being there to at least make an honest attempt to help him.

"Heath," Jarrod started talking in his 'pappy' voice when his brother did not answer, "I _would_ keep on looking, you know I would. I hate it that my time has run out and we haven't found him. I _have_ to get back to Stockton." He paused, leaned back and let his shoulders sag slightly. He hated being put in such a position; he'd rather keep looking himsef. "If you want to keep looking, I can get McCall to run the ranch a bit longer."

Heath had never felt so torn in his life. He _wanted_ to keep looking, but McCall had already been running the ranch longer than planned. "We keep looking as we head back." Heath lifted the glass he held in his hands up. He wouldn't just give up on Nick.

Jarrod nodded; he wouldn't think of doing anything else, "Of course."


	4. Confession

I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters.

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Four**

Patrick stood next to the corral and looked at the horses Cat had. "I thought this was a farm; why are you buying and selling horses?" He turned away from what he could tell were some very fine animals.

"For the most part 'tis a farm." Cat smiled. "The 'orses are a side business, me 'obby. Anythin' else?"

"Yes, there is." Patrick grinned and replied, "But it may be none of my business."

Cat chuckled. "You're an 'onest one. What be your question?"

"Your name is Irish, but your speech isn't. Where are you from?" Patrick knew it wasn't important information, but he was curious.

Cat chuckled. "I was born down by the docks in London, but me dad is Irish. 'alf me family sounds Irish, 'alf of us picked up the Cockney way of speakin'. Does that be satisfying your curiosity?" Her head tilted slightly to one sid and her eyes laughed.

Patrick nodded. "Almost. That Matthews fellow, I get the funniest feeling he's been bothering you for some time, and I don't like the feelings I get off him. You said he was the black sheep of the family, just how much of a black sheep is he?"

Cat grew solemn and tudied, really studied, the man before her. She didn't know why, but she knew she could trust him and that was something she needed, someone she could trust. "Bad, 'e's bad down to 'is last bone. 'e's even threatened me life." Due to the shocked look that came upon her new friend's face, she hurried to add, "I don't mean 'e's come right out and said 'e'll kill me, but 'e's implied it more than once."

"Have you told the sheriff?" Patrick didn't like the idea that anyone was threatening the young lady. Though, he was confused as she acted like it was no big deal.

Again Cat hesitated, but, once again, having the strong feeling she could trust him, she sighed. "I know what you're thinkin', if I be tellin' you somethin', you promise you'll keep your mouth shut? I mean, shut tight?"

The question surprised him, and it showed in his raised eyebrows and startled look in his eyes. He owed the woman his life, Patrick knew that, so, he leaned against the corral fence and answered, "My lips are sealed. What is it?"

"That sorry excuse for a man could come try to frighten me by sayin' 'e'll kill me, wouldn't make no difference. If a body wants to scare someone who's dyin', they need to be doin' somethin' besides threatenin' to kill 'em, killin' is only doin' a favor."

Now shock waves replaced the surprise. Patrick had to literally grab the fence to steady himself. "You're dying? And you stay out here all by yourself?" He hated the idea of anyone dying all alone, with no one around to bury them.

Cat shrugged her shoulders. "Nothin'll stop the grim reaper when 'e comes callin', doesn't mean I 'ave to be livin' someplace I 'ate does it? Me worry is for the 'orses. I 'ave mates, 'enry and Marie 'anks; they be the only ones besides you and the doctor that be knowin' I'm dyin'. They be lookin' for someone that can be trusted to treat the animals well. I 'ope they be findin' someone soon."

Patrick looked at the horses again. He couldn't help but feel he should know where the horses could find a new home; it frustrated him not being able to remember who he was or where he was from. "What about the farm?" he finally asked. "What are you doing to do with it?" Not that he wanted it, he didn't. Again, he was only asking out of curiosity.

Cat shrugged her shoulders. "Aye, the farm'll be needin' takin' care of, but," she shrugged her shoulders, "I'll not be worryin' about it; there be plenty of folks lookin' for a place to settle down, it won't be goin' empty long. Like I said, it be the 'orses I be worryin' about."

Patrick made two vows right then and there; he was going to help her find a new home for the horses and stay with her until she passed away. After all, the least he could do was make sure the woman who saved his life was not alone in the end. "Would you mind a cousin who drops in and stays longer than expected? I'll carry my share of the load; I have nowhere else to go." It was the truth and a way to stick around without injuring her pride.

Cat smiled; she sensed what he was really doing and appreciated it greatly. "There always be work to be doin' 'round 'ere. You be more than welcome to stay."

"I don't like to admit it." Patrick turned and slowly headed back to the house. "But I reckon I should go sit down someplace; I'm still feeling weak. If I'm to do you any good, I'd best get healed up all the way."

Cat quickly hurried over to his side and walked with him. She didn't try to hide how happy she was to have some good company; it was the one thing she'd been convinced she'd be robbed of in her last days.


	5. Questions and Hope

I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters.

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Five**

Victoria stood on the verandah watching the sunset. '_We looked for him as long as we could._" Jarrod's voice rang in her ears, the haunted look in Heath's eyes remained on the stage of her mind. "_We finally had no choice but to talk to the law and come home'. _She knew her sons well enough to know they spoke the truth. "Where are you, Nick?" She looked out at the darkening horizon. "What happened?" Like her sons and daughter, she held out hope for Nick's return.

"Mother?" Audra walked up beside her. "He'll be found; you'll see, he'll be found or come home on his own." The young girl not only tried to sound convincing for her mother's sake, but her own as well. She kept telling herself that this was _his _ranch, and that he just had to come back.

Victoria took a deep breath and smiled softly. "I know, but the waiting is what's hard, waiting and wondering where he's at and why the delay in coming back to us." It was too; the wondering was hurting like crazy.

From where Jarrod and Heath stood inside, they could hear their mother and sister talking. The guilt they felt for not finding Nick was only intensified, though they'd never admit it to Victoria or Audra. After all, their mother had stated bluntly they were not to blame themselves. However, that was hard to do.

"What did the Pinkertons have to say?" Heath looked at Jarrod, half way hoping to hear they were worrying for nothing, the other half knew better than to expect news so soon. He was right.

Jarrod shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "They'll start searching." He looked at Heath. "And we keep our own eyes and ears open."

Heath turned and started walking away. "If they haven't found him by next month, there's another auction being held." He didn't know that it would do any good, but it couldn't hurt either.

Jarrod said nothing as he headed for his study. He had to keep busy or go crazy, and he had plenty of work to keep him occupied. '_Where ever you are, Nick, remember we are a family. You belong here with us.' _

While the Barkleys were wondering where Nick was, 'Patrick' was standing on the porch of his new home growing less concerned with who he was and more occupied with the idea of helping find Cat's horses a new home, along with the idea of making sure she didn't die alone.

"Mornin' be early 'round 'ere." Cat walked up beside Patrick. "You be goin' to be 'atin' life if you don't be gettin' yourself to bed soon."

Patrick turned to face her and grinned. "I have a funny feeling I've hated to see more than one morning come. Besides, I couldn't sleep. I had my mind on those horses of yours."

Cat wasn't surprised; she'd seen the look that appeared in his eyes the first moment she'd told him of her condition and her concern for the horses. "And?" She sat down on a nearby chair; he did the same.

"If it helps ease your mind any, I'll promise that as long as I'm able, I'll stick around until you find them a home. If something happens to you before we find a place for them, I'll take care of them until I can find good people to take them."

A smile spread across her face as she laid her hand upon his wrist. "You be a good man, no matter what name you be usin'. If it'll not be a burden, I'll be takin' you up on your offer. I'll 'ave me peace of mind knowin' the 'orses be taken care of." She might have said more, but both of them heard the horses start to make a ruckus. Patrick took off running while she retrieved a rifle out of the house, and then hurried to join the man.

They were both furious to see Matthew Miller trying to get one of the horses out of the corral. "Stop!" Patrick barked as he ran towards the man. Unfortunely, the man was able get to his own horse and get away. Patrick was furious; there was one sheriff that was going to get a visitor.

Cat knew what he was thinking as she had the exact same thought. "Can't be doin' anythin' about it now, might as well go get some sleep. We can 'ead into town first thing in the mornin'."

Patrick would have argued and insisted on staying up, only he was just too tired; he hoped the man would stay away and let them get some sleep. Once inside the house, Patrick turned to Cat. "I have to ask you. Why buy another horse when you know you're dying?" He couldn't understand being worried about the horses and turning around and buying another one.

Cat smiled. "I didn't buy that one for me, 'is new owner is comin' tomorrow, a mate of mine, one Charles Smitt. But," and she pointed her finger at Patrick, "be rememberin' your promise. No word 'bout me condition. The bloke is good enough in some ways, but give 'im somethin' like that and 'e'll find a way to be turnin' it to his advantage."

That made Patrick's stomach turn. "Don't worry," he headed for the room he now used, "I'll keep my promise."


	6. Chapter 6

I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beta Reader, though all mistakes are my own.

*I apologize, I should have said this at the beginning. There are small skirmishes in this story, but not any huge drama. On the other site I post at, it's listed under Hurt/Comfort, Romance, and Angst.

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Six**

Milton Clayson, Rockville's brand new sheriff, sat behind his desk listening to Cat and her cousin telling him about the incident from the night before. He shook his head. "From what Sheriff Larson told me before he retired and moved away, Matthew Miller's been nothing but trouble since the day he stepped foot into this town. I'll do what I need to let everyone know he's a wanted man, but I'd keep my eyes open if I were you."

Patrick didn't know why the lawman thought it necessary to tell them something they already knew, but he wasn't going to say anything either. When Cat and he turned to leave, the lawman spoke up. "Are the two of you coming to the town social tonight?"

Cat looked at Patrick. The social sounded like fun, but she wasn't going to go alone, and she jolly well wasn't going to demand that he go; that idea was utterly ridiculous. Patrick smiled. "We just might do that. It would be great to get to know more of my cousin's neighbors."

The lawman smiled as Patrick opened the door for Cat and then left. His smile turned to a frown as he started filling out the necessary paperwork needed to get other lawman notified that he was looking for Matthew Miller.

After closing the lawman's door, Patrick walked towards the livery stable with Cat; they'd left their horses there when they rode into town. "So, tell me, haven't you ever been to one of the socials?"

Cat was surprised and she jerked backwards slightly. "Why are you sayin' that?" She hadn't been to but three of them, but how had he known?

Patrick chuckled. "The way the sheriff looked at you when he asked the question and the way he looked at me. He had an expression that said '_Get her off that farm_!'." He found himself a bit amused when she blushed.

"I've not been for years, always had one of me parents or somethin' else to be doin' when the socials were bein' 'eld. Oh," and Cat shrugged her shoulders, "guess that not be quite true, there 'ave been times where I could 'ave gone, but," and she turned up her hands, "the three times I did go, all I did was sit on the side lines so why be tryin' to go a fourth?"

Now it was Patrick who found himself shaking his head. "You're too beautiful to be sitting on the sidelines. What are the men around here, blind?" She was too. Her dark brown hair was done up in a bun matched her brown eyes and set on the top of her head, while the dress she wore could have blended in with the sky just perfectly.

Cat stared at him and then started smiling. "I've been called pretty before, but never beautiful. You best be careful with your words, don't want to go about givin' young girls the wrong idea." She silently chastised herself as soon as she spoke the words. It felt as if she was trying to flirt with the man, and that was not becoming to a lady. At least, she didn't think it did, so why was she doing it?

Patrick didn't seem care as he, mimicking her accent, with a grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye, said, "I'll not be takin' it back, you be beautiful and anybody 'round 'ere 'as to be flat out blind not to see it."

"You're makin' fun of me, now," Cat shot back as she put her hands on her hips, only there was a smile a mile wide on her face and laughter in her eyes. "Folks 'round 'ere might be gettin' the wrong idea about me and me cousin if you keep that up."

Patrick laughed and batted his hand through the air. "Let them talk, we're not doing anything wrong; we're just enjoying life." He smiled at the woman who was fast becoming a very good friend. Nothing more was said as they entered the livery stable picked up their horses and headed back towards the small farm.

As soon as they were home again, Patrick headed for the barn and Cat headed for the house. It was getting close to noon, and she needed to get lunch. "_'Tisn't good for you to be stayin' out here by yourself." Tara, Cat's older sister who, unlike Cat, had been born and raised in Ireland, stood in the front room talking firmly to her sister. "You be twenty three years old and unmarried. What will people be a sayin'? You belong with your family, 'tis true." "I can take care of me self, I can." Cat put her hands on her hips, not daring to tell her sister what she had begun to suspect; after all, the woman would have marched her to the doctor's, and then hounded her to go back with her and her husband. "This 'ere farm be fine with me. I 'ave what I need and I 'ave what I want. Me and the 'orses will be just fine!"_

"I stood me ground and won." Cat looked out the window and watched Patrick come out of the barn. "And it looks like you've sent a guardian angel to be watchin' over me, but what about 'im? 'e's got family somewhere, and they probably be worried 'bout 'im. 'e needs to know who 'e is." She glanced up at the sky and then sighed, "and to be 'onest, I'd like to know too, or at least where he be belongin'." She'd best get lunch cooked. Mr. Smitt would be arriving in a few hours to get his horse and she didn't want food still on the table when he got there.


	7. Chapter 7

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. **

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Seven**

Jarrod was sitting behind his desk when Heath opened the door and walked in. "McCall said you wanted to see me?" Heath sat down in the chair across from his brother hoping to hear that the Pinkertons had come up with something that would lead them to Nick, or better yet, to hear the agency had actually found him.

Jarrod sat back and fought the emotions raging inside of him. "I heard from Mr. Lee today." He looked at Heath, not wanting to have to tell him what the agency had come up with.

Heath knew his brother well enough to know whatever he was about to be told was not good. "What is it?" He braced himself to hear the worst.

"They came across a man sitting in a Carson City, Nevada, jail cell by the name of Luke Woodland. The man, while confessing to other things, let it slip he and a few friends roughed up 'a rather wealthy rancher' in California. He also admitted to shooting 'that rancher' later. No, he didn't come right out and say Nick's name; however," Jarrod sighed, "he did admit to being in the Rockville area at one time. The agency is looking into the gentleman's friends and such. They'll continue looking, in case it wasn't him."

Heath fought the rage inside of him. It couldn't have been Nick. He had to be alive! Hurt and recovering somewhere, but alive, that had to be the case! Seeing the pained look in his brother's eyes, Jarrod said, "Heath, they'll keep looking and," he paused, "I have an acquaintance in the Carson City area. I've written to him and asked he go visit the man in question. We have to face facts though, Heath. It could have been him."

"No!" Heath practically jumped to his feet. "There's an auction in two weeks, and I'm going to it! He's down there somewhere! Why he isn't home, I don't know, but he's alive! I feel it!" He turned and left the room, leaving Jarrod to pray like mad his brother was right.

While Heath was making plans to go back to Rockville, 'Patrick' was riding alongside Cat in a buggy towards the town social. Off in the distance they could see a rainbow.

"Looks like it rained someplace." Cat smiled and a faraway look came into her eye, and she laughed. "That be bringin' back memories. Me dad used to talk about rainbows and the pot of gold 'e'd find someday. 'e always thought me a bit daft for when 'e'd ask me, 'If you find the end of the rainbow, what would you be likin' to find?'," she sighed, "'e never could understand why I never said gold or some other treasure as 'e saw it."

Patrick was intrigued. Everyone he knew always talked about gold and other wealth. "What would you like to find at the end of your rainbow?"

When he turned his head and smiled at her, Cat smiled back and put her hand on his wrist. "As soon as we find a 'ome for me 'orses, I'll 'ave as much of me dream as I dare say I'll be gettin'."

"That's not an answer to my question." Patrick stopped the buggy. For whatever reason, he wanted to hear her answer; he wanted to know what she would like to find.

For a moment she didn't speak as she looked at the surroundings, and then sighed. "Just 'elp me find a 'ome for me 'orses and I'll be fine, really. We'd best be goin'. We'll be late." She turned her eyes to the front of the buggy. Truth was, she'd started having daydreams she told herself she had no business thinking. After all; she was dying and Patrick may already be married. She wanted no trouble for the man who was proving to be the best friend she'd ever had.

Patrick knew she was holding back, but knew he'd not be getting any answers by putting too much pressure on her. He would just have to give her gentle nudges here and there, and then he'd have to pray like crazy she'd open up before it was too late.

Upon arriving at the social, he helped Cat down from the buggy and led her inside. The looks Cat and he were receiving did not pass him by. It didn't bother him until he overheard a woman who sounded like she needed her nasal passage cleared whisper, "They say he's her cousin; I bet you it's more like a kissing cousin," causing Cat to start to turn to leave.

"No." Patrick stopped her and smiled gently at her. "Don't let people like that run you off. If they have such boring lives they need to gossip, let's give them something to gossip about." He winked at her as he led her to the dance floor.

"Patrick Barnes," Cat was embarrassed, but delighted, when he took her in his arms and started dancing with her, "I admit, I was wrong to right off think of leavin', but this? What will people be sayin'?"

"Does it really matter?" He grew serious. He'd been thinking long and hard the last three or four days. He'd thought even harder after her refusal to tell him what treasure she'd like to find, mostly because he'd caught a quick glimpse of longing in her eyes. "The worst thing they can say has already been said; the good folks, the ones who don't gossip, but wonder, might say your cousin is courting you, and that isn't against the law. Though I think it best if I find another place to live and continue helping you with the farm and horses. It'll give them less ammo to use against your good name."

Cat surprised herself as she quickly objected to the idea. "If nothing else, there's the loft you can be usin', but please, don't leave." Then, realizing what ideas he could justifiably get from her request, she added, "I've grown accustomed to the idea of 'avin' someone around in case…" She stopped speaking and dropped her head slightly, knowing she must sound quite selfish.

Patrick, not caring what others might say, pulled her close as they danced and tilted her head back up. "You'll not be alone." The rest of the evening the two danced and talked with each other, and the men and women who were smart enough to realize there was nothing but genuine concern and friendship between Cat and Patrick. By the time the social was over, Patrick had made up his mind. For the sake of Cat's reputation, he was moving out to the loft.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters.**

***A/N The song 'Meet Me in the Moonlight' is an actual song ****written and Composed By J. Augustine Wade, Esqr in 1812.**

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Eight**

Jarrod, who'd been looking for his mother, was not surprised to find her in Nick's room. He hated what Nick's disappearance was doing to the family, but the Pinkertons had been talking to everyone they could find, trying to locate, as they put it, 'one Nicolas Jonathon Barkley'. The only thing they'd come up with so far was Mr. Woodland's unintentional confession, and he was no longer talking. That being the case, they could only assume the man Mr. Woodland shot may have been Nick, but there was still no real proof.

"Are you all right, Mother?" Jarrod hated seeing his mother hurting so; she hadn't looked this bad since his father had been killed. How Jarrod wished he could take all her pain away.

"Heath is insisting that he's going back to Rockville when it's time for another auction." Victoria turned and looked at Jarrod. "A part of me is terrified of him leaving; I find myself with an irrational fear he won't be returning, that he'll go missing like Nick." She choked on her words as Jarrod quickly wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"I can talk to him, if you want. We need nothing from the auction." Jarrod didn't know that he'd have much luck talking Heath out of anything, but if it gave his mother some peace of mind, it was worth it.

Victoria pulled back and straightened up. While she appreciated her son's concern, she could not ask him to do such a thing. Heath needed peace of mind just as bad as any of them did. "No, I'll be fine. Audra's been after me to go with her to the orphanage, I think I best go. You will keep in touch with the Pinkertons though?"

Jarrod nodded. "I don't plan on letting up." '_I'll never let up until we get answers'. _He held the door open while his mother exited the room, and then left himself, hoping Nick would just surprise them all and come home soon.

Home- that was a word Patrick was having a difficult time connecting to the loft. He lay his pillow down, and then took the blankets Cat was handing to him.

"I really 'ate the idea of you 'avin' to be sleepin' up 'ere when there's a perfectly good bed inside." Cat felt guilty, knowing he was doing this to protect her reputation, something she herself had stressed when he first arrived at her home. Now, she found herself more concerned about his comfort than her good name.

"I told you before," he said as he took a hold of her shoulders, "it's better this way. Though," he smiled and continued speaking, "if you don't mind, night company on the porch would be great. That, and agree if your friends haven't arrived back within the next week, we'll go together looking for a home for those horses. I made you that promise; I don't intend to break it."

"You'll be keepin' the promise, I know. Next week is the auction. Since Mr. Smitt never showed for 'is 'orse, I'm forced to sell it at the auction. After all I don't 'ave money to spare."

Patrick scratched the back of his neck while he thought. "Paul Miller, despite that jerk of a brother, seems nice enough. I'll talk to him about taking the animal into the auction, if your friends don't show up. Can you live with that?"

Cat felt uncomfortable about sending the horse to auction with anyone but her; still, Patrick had a point. Her other horses needed a home and, unless Henry and Marie Hanks showed up soon, what choice would they have? "I don't like it, but okay. Now let's get to the porch." It was the closest she was going to get to saying, "_Let's get away from the temptation that's 'ere."_

Patrick smiled and followed her down the ladder and over to the house. He sat on the porch while she went and got her flute. It didn't take long before she was playing '_Meet Me in the Moonlight'. _He hated to hear the song end for he knew he meant she'd be heading to bed, even if it wasn't dark yet. How he hated the fact that the doctors knew of no way to save her life.

"Good night, Patrick." Cat stood up and, on impulse, gave him a hug; she then quickly went inside afraid of what might happen if she did not.

Patrick did not budge; he watched the sunset thinking on Cat, her horses and what where he might go the day she passed on. If only he knew who he was, where he was from, maybe the doctor there could help Cat. He was brought out of his thoughts as he heard footsteps approaching. It might not have gotten his attention, but someone was trying to be awfully quiet; Patrick quietly removed his pistol, turned slightly and waited.

He waited and listened. Something wasn't right. Whoever it was was doing something at the side of the house. Patrick stood up and quietly headed for the side of the house. He was horrified to smell something starting to burn and he ran around the corner. Startled, a stranger turned to run only to find a bullet in his leg. The man then made the mistake of going for his gun; it never left its holster.

Patrick would have run into the house and gotten Cat, but she was already out the front door. Together they put out the fire the man had started. Once they putting out the flames, Patrick turned to Cat. "Do you know him?"

"'e's 'ung 'round with Matthew Miller at times," she answered after walking over and looking down at the dead man, "I bet you anythin' 'e, Mr. Miller that be, sent 'im."

'_She doesn't care about the farm; it's her horses she's worried about."_ The thought pressed itself upon his mind he knew only one thing; they had to leave the farm no matter what.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. **

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Nine**

"Be you serious?" Cat and Patrick were standing on the porch talking with Henry and Marie Hanks; the couple had shown up to find Cat and Patrick packing a few items.

"Very serious, Cat." Henry looked at the gentleman she'd called her cousin; there was something in his facial features that was eerily familiar. Still, with his mind on the horses, Henry did not dwell on it. He went on to relate their tale. "Remember, you said we could go as far as Stockton. Anyway, we made our way towards the ranch the lawman everyone called Fred had directed us to." He then went on and related the incident.

_Henry and Marie could see two men talking in the near a corral as they approached the main house. Heath, who due to an unexpected fall, was on crutches with a broken leg, was talking to Jarrod. He'd rather have been on his way to the auction, but the leg prevented that. When Jarrod and he saw the couple driving up in the wagon, Jarrod hurried to get the gate open and soon both he and Heath were standing next to the wagon. _

"_May I help you?" Heath looked up at the strangers._

_"I hope so," Henry answered. Assuming the men before him were ranch hands, he explained, "The sheriff in Stockton said we could find either a Heath or Jarrod Barkley here. Are they around?""_

_Grins spread over both Heath and Jarrod's faces as they bit back a bit of laughter. "I'm Heath." Heath held out his one hand and pointed to his brother. "This is Jarrod. What can we do for you?" There was something in the men's smiles that leapt out and took a hold of both Henry and Marie, that something gave them hope that maybe, just maybe, their search was indeed over._

_"My name's Henry and this is my wife, Marie. I need to talk to you about some horses that need a new home. I don't suppose you'd be interested?" Henry asked. "If not, I might as well not climb off this wagon."_

_They didn't really need more horses; though they weren't to the point where looking was out of the question either. "Come on inside," Heath said as he nodded towards the house, "we can talk in there while we eat lunch." He needed something to distract him anyway and he was sure the couple would not argue with the food offered them; they didn't._

_Once inside, Heath showed the couple to into the dining room and asked Silas to bring something out for them. "So, you have horses to sell?" Heath looked at the strangers across from him._

_"We're looking for a home for five horses," Henry began. "They belong to a friend of ours." He went on to explain that, for reasons he was not free to state, the woman needed to get rid of the horses. "I know it sounds odd, but she's not necessarily looking to get paid for them. I can guarantee there are no hidden strings and no law has been broken. We just desperately need to find a place the horses will be treated well."_

_It was odd; at least it sounded odd. "What's your friend's name?" Heath figured if no law was being broken then there was no harm in asking. _

_Henry only hesitated a moment and then answered, "A young woman a few miles out of Rockville by the name of __Catraoine__ O'Brian, but she goes by the name of Cat."_

_Heath sat straight up as he remembered the young woman from the auction. Why would a young woman who had gone to the trouble of buying a horse be trying to find homes for all her horses, even if it meant giving them away? His curiosity was piqued enough to ask, "Who are you going to have deliver the horses if I agree to buy them?" '__**If I agree**__…' it was all he could do to make himself say those words. Nick was supposed to do things like this, not him. He wished those blasted Pinkertons, or somebody, would hurry up and find the man, or at least what had happened to him!_

_Henry sighed. "I'd go back and help Cat bring them here, unless I get back and she has someone else. You'd have them in a couple weeks at the most."_

_"Alright." Heath stood up. "If you run into trouble, wire me. I'm thinking to go down that way in a couple of weeks, after I get this cast off my foot, but I'll pay for them, no need for her to just give them away."_

_Henry smiled and stood up. "Cat will be happy to hear I've found a place for the horses." He led Marie out of the house and headed back in the direction they'd come._

Henry looked from Cat to Patrick. "I didn't know you had your cousin here with you, but I can still help move the horses if you'd like." He wasn't going to just turn his back on their friend.

"No need for you to be goin'." Cat smiled at Maria, the woman was showing a condition of her own. "Me and Patrick can be takin' them. If you'll be kindly to be sendin' a wire to this bloke, 'eath Barkley," she too remembered the name, but wasn't going to tell Henry that, "tell 'im me and Patrick'll be deliverin' the horses."

Henry smiled as he and his wife turned to leave. "Will do, Cat."

Once her friends were gone, Cat smiled at Patrick. "See, I told you last night, I 'ad a feelin' we'd not be 'avin' to worry 'bout you movin' back into the 'ouse."

Patrick grinned and, on impulse, kissed her on the forehead. "Remind me never to argue with your feelings again."

As startled as she was to have him kiss her on the forehead, she couldn't help but grin at what he'd said. "See that you don't." She was laughing as she said the words. Before long, the two of them started planning the route they'd take to get the horses to the Barkleys.


	10. Chapter 10

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. **

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Ten**

Patrick stood next to the horse Cat called Blackie and stroked his mane. He was a fine horse, and Patrick was startled to find himself thinking, _'I'd like to have been the one to break you in'_. Had he indeed, at one time, broken in a horse? He looked down at his spurs, and then took off his hat. He _did_ dress more like a cowboy than a farm hand. His head began hurting again; it hurt so bad he fell to his knees and grabbed his head.

Cat, not knowing the cause of the headache, ran as fast as she could, not easy since she had a tendency to get sometimes get dizzy when she ran, and knelt down beside Patrick. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him close. "Do I be needin' to send for a doctor, or somewhat?"

"No," Patrick answered as the pain subsided as he pulled away, "thanks for your concern anyway. I just need to stop trying to remember things. It does no good."

Cat felt her heart go out to the man as the two of them stood back up. Maybe the trip wasn't such a good idea after all; maybe she should get a hold of Henry again and see if he was still available to accompany her. Patrick could see the worry in her eyes and guessed at what she might be thinking. "Don't worry," he said as he went back to brushing Blackie, "I'm fine; I can make the trip." He had no intention of breaking either one of the promises he'd made.

"If you be sure," and then, her heart going out to him with his amnesia situation, added, "I 'ate feelin' so useless, when it comes to your loss of memory. If I 'ad a clue to as who you be, I'd be tellin' you. I 'ope you know that." Her eyes were full of concern and her voice sincere.

Patrick knew that; he also knew that, despite his fight against it, he was falling in love with her. Thinking again of her reference to the end of the rainbow, he turned and took a hold of her shoulders. "What do you, yourself, want? Besides the horses being taken to their new home?"

Cat felt shock waves go through her as she looked into his eyes full of a genuine desire to fill her last request, as it were. Maybe she couldn't have everything she'd ever wanted, but, did she dare? "I…I told you not to be worryin' 'bout that." She started to turn away only to find him gently making her to look at him. He wanted to know.

"Tell me." His eyes bored into hers with such forceful persuasion that she gave in.

Her eyes were full of sincerity as she asked hesitantly, "Kiss me? In all me twenty-three years of livin', I've never been kissed, and I've never met anyone like you." Maybe that's why she found the courage to ask what was on her mind. He _was_ different from anyone she'd ever met.

Never? Patrick stared. How on earth had such a beautiful, kind gal such as her been that unfortunate? He smiled, drew her to him and lowered his head. He didn't rush it, not wanting her to regret the request. The sweet taste of his lips sent shivers down her spine and Cat found herself sliding her arms up his back and holding onto his shoulders.

Patrick decided right then and there to at least court her. Due to her health and the fact she was dying, maybe marriage was out of the question, maybe it wasn't. It didn't really matter; he could still make sure she knew he cared. Though the first way to do that was to make sure he didn't use her in any wrongful way. He made himself pull back. "The men around you have been blind." He continued holding onto her as he smiled at her. "I best thank them." He paused, grinned wide and said, "Someday. I don't want to wake anyone up right now."

Cat blushed at the compliment. "I 'ope I wasn't out of line in askin' that, truth be told while others be dreamin' of findin' a pot of gold, I only dreamt of findin' a tall handsome cowboy who 'onestly, I mean, 'onestly cared 'bout me." Tears started to fill her eyes. "I'd accepted it would never 'appen though."

Patrick felt his heart strings being pulled tight as held her close and stroked the back of her head. "It's happened, girl. It's happened and I'll stay with you until the end, I promise. I'll help you get these horses to Stockton, and then we can go whatever you want." He knew, from his talks with her doctor, that he was only giving her up to eighteen months of his life, but she deserved some happiness during her last days. He was bound and determined to see she got it.

Cat thought on her home in London. Oh, it wasn't not that she wanted to go that far, but she missed 'her docks', sitting on the pier, watching the boats roll in and tossing small pebbles into the water just to see the ripples appear. "Stockton's bein' a small river port, isn't it? It be havin' docks, ships and a river?" She pulled slightly backwards and tilted her head upwards. She wanted to see into his eyes.

He smiled down upon her. "From what folks say around here it is, I can't rightly say if I know that or not. If it does, I'll find work, and you can have your docks and other things back." The moment he said the words, he felt himself fall over 'that line'; inwardly he cursed the doctors and held her close.

He released Cat and, after thinking for a moment, said, "Why don't we get ready to start our journey in a couple of hours? There's nothing to keep us around here anymore, and the sooner we leave, the sooner we can get these horses to Stockton." What he didn't voice was the thought that the sooner the horses were taken care of, the more time he'd have to make sure her last days were happy ones.

"Okay." She wiped her eyes and smiled, excited at the prospects of getting the journey started. '_'eaven forgive me if you be married_,' she thought as they walked, arm in arm, towards the house.

While Patrick and Cat prepared to head to Stockton, Jarrod was once again behind his desk in the study when Heath opened the door and walked in.

"You didn't show up for lunch." Heath sat down in the chair in front of the desk, "In fact you didn't even say hello to anyone when you came in the door. What's wrong?"

Jarrod picked up the letter he'd received just that morning from the Pinkertons and tossed it to Heath. "It was come in here and get a clear head, or go beat a certain Pinkerton agent to a pulp, which would get me jail time and I prefer my freedom." There was disgust in his voice as he spoke.

Heath's own eyebrows narrowed and hardened steel took the place of his pupils as he read.

'_Dear Jarrod Barkley, _

_In response to your request for an update on our search for your brother, I regret to inform you that we have had to fire the man that was searching for him and have had to start completely over. I am only free to say the agent has failed at more than once case simply by asking too few questions and not handing out the proper information. We have assigned the search for your brother to a more competent agent. We truly regret the wasted time._

_Sincerely,_

_Mr. Jonathon Lowe_

_"_They regret…" Heath exploded as he threw the words out, "It's been two months! He's been gone for two months and they regret they have to start completely over! What kind of fools do they employ?"

Jarrod leaned forward and spoke in his Pappy voice, "Heath, even the Pinkertons are human and, sometimes, have the misfortune of getting a bad apple just like the rest of us. Now, I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to juggle my schedule around so you and I can go back down in that area ourselves, after those horses that you promised to buy from that young woman arrive. Call me crazy, but I can't shake the feeling we were that close to finding him before." He lifted his hand and held his thumb and first finger within an inch of each other and then pointed at the letter in Heath's hands. "And, ever since getting that, I can't help but feel that he's been in that area the whole time. Why he hasn't come home is another story."

Heath tossed the letter down upon the desk. "If you're right, he'd have to be hurt awfully bad not to get word to us somehow." That idea made his sick to the stomach.

"I know." Jarrod sat back in his chair. "That's why I came in here to see what I could do about getting some spare time. Once those horses are here, maybe you can have McCall watch over the ranch for a while. I'm going to cancel a few appointments that can wait," he tapped his fingers upon his calendar, "and I'll talk to Jason Bryce about getting some statements I'll need by the time we get back." He sighed. "To be honest, if I had known about this, I wouldn't have promised, when I was asked, to make sure we were both here when those animals were delivered."

Heath started to say something only to turn at the sound of the door opening once more; it was Victoria. "What's going on in here?" Victoria spoke with 'that tone', the one that told them they wouldn't be able to hide the truth from her if they tried.

Jarrod picked up the letter and, for the hundredth time that day, read it. Victoria stiffened as he finished the letter. "Don't worry, Mother," Jarrod spoke before she had the chance to say anything, "Heath and I will be going down there to look first thing Saturday morning and I hope the agent they have on the case this time will indeed prove more competent than the last one."

Victoria felt as if someone had just doubled the weight she'd been carrying around for the past two months, and it showed in her eyes, even if she did hold herself erect. "We'll find him, Mother." Heath stood up, walked over to her side and spoke, "This time we'll find him, or…" He paused, not wanting to even think of the possibilities that existed.

"Or find out what happened." Victoria's voice choked up a bit as she turned and left the room needing to find a place to be by herself.

The feeling in the room was heavier than it had been in ages; Jarrod sitting looking at his calendar, Heath going over everything he needed to get done before they could start the search once more and both praying like mad that they would be able to find Nick alive. Hurt and mending would not be pleasant, but if he were alive, that would be acceptable. "I'd best go talk to McCall." Heath finally broke the uneasy silence that hung in the room. "He'll need some notice of what's going on."

"Heath," Jarrod spoke up as Heath headed for the door, "we'll find him; one way or the other he's coming home." Heath only gave him a small lopsided grin as he walked out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beta Reader for all her help, especially with Cat's speech. I've never even attempted Cockney before, just knew this young woman downright insisted on speaking it.**

***Holt, California may, or may not, be in between Rockville and Stockton. I wasn't able to find out. For the sake of the story, it is.**

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Eleven**

"'ow much farther?" Cat hated asking, but she felt very tired and needed a rest.

Patrick nodded towards some nearby trees. "Couple more miles to Holt, and then seven more to Stockton, but we can rest over there." Again, he found himself praying the trip wasn't going to prove the young woman's undoing. Once they were by the trees, Patrick secured the horses to the trees while Cat sat down and leaned against the tree. He wasted no time in joining her. Try as he might, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her; she had to make it to the ranch okay, and she had to live for a few months at least.

"Stare at me long enough and your eyes will be fallin' out." She turned her head and smiled at Patrick. "I'll be fine. Give me time and I'll have all lthe strength I be needin' for a while." She grew quiet as she tilted her head and looked up into his face and added softly, "You be somethin' else, Patrick Barnes, better than a pot of gold any day."

Patrick swallowed hard and fought to control his composure as he looked into her dark brown eyes. He thought on everything she'd told him about her family, especially how crazy her brothers had been in insisting on transporting their parents back east after they'd died so they could bury them there, even though her parents loved California. He knew how much she loved California, how much she was looking forward to see the small river port. All she'd wanted was a place for her horses, to be near a dock and water, and to have a cowboy who cared. He thought about the talks they'd had, the way she smiled and the music she was able to make come out of the flute, along with a numerous other things. No, he couldn't let them take her out of California. He knew he loved her enough to want to see her wishes respected, and he knew of only one way to make sure he had the legal power to fulfill them. He lifted her hands to his chin and looked her in the eyes. "Call me crazy or whatever; it's not like I can promise you the world, but marry me."

Cat's mouth fell open; she was in love with him it was true, but what did she have to offer him? She'd be gone within a year and a half, it wasn't like she could bear him any children and it wasn't like she had any sort of dowery to give him. "Marry you…" She bit her lip and fought to control her heart. "Why would you be wantin' me to be marryin' you? What can I give you in the short time I 'ave left, besides an earache?"

Patrick let out a roar of laughter, knowing she was talking about the effects of her singing upon his ears, "You," he smiled as he let go of her hands and laid his hands upon her cheeks, "you can give me your time, your love, you can give me you, even if it means keeping plenty of cotton handy for my ears." He lowered his head and began kissing her for all he was worth. Cat stiffened at first, and then relaxed and held onto him tightly; she couldn't believe this was happening. She was afraid it was all a dream and someone was going to wake her up.

After what seemed an eternity, Patrick had to literally pull himself away from her. "First thing we do when we get to Holt is find us a preacher or somebody who can marry us." He looked at Cat and half hesitated, afraid to ask the question that had just popped into his head but he had to. "Or do you not wish to marry someone without a past or his right name?"

Cat started laughing and crying at the same time. "I want to be gettin' married! I'll 'ave you as me 'usband. Who cares what name you be usin'? As far as your past goes, I won't be carin' about that. As me mum would say, 'It's what a person be now that's important'." She threw her arms around his neck, sheer joy in her face and in her voice. After resting and talking for about an hour, the two started back on their journey.

From where he sat on his horse, Matthew Miller was furious. He had had all the help he needed to get those horses, until they'd gotten to the farm and found the place deserted. Without the horses, the men with him refused to track them down, saying, 'Five horses ain't worth it'. Well, it was worth it to him. He started to lift his rifle, figuring he'd shoot the man and keep the girl for himself, when he saw two wagons come into view. He let out a string of cuss words and put the rifle away when Miss O'Brian and her friend headed for the wagons, as the people were heading in the same direction as they were.

"You're welcome to travel with us to Holt, Mr. Barnes," Mr. Adam Tyler, a man with a heart the size of Texas, said once he found out where the couple was heading, "that is, if you're interested."

Patrick might have said no but, the moment he and Cat and mounted their horses, he'd felt someone watching them. He didn't know if the person was watching them, or these good people, but he was watching someone. That was keeping him on the alert. "If you don't mind, we'll do just that." At least that way, whoever was being followed would have some help for a few miles.

Inside the wagon Mr. Tyler was driving, his niece, Anna Bronson, sat listening to the conversation. Nick had courted her for a small spell only to have to accept that he could never give up his ranch, and she could never give up the city. The young lady had left California to go help her aunt, uncle and their many children move out to California. She'd been sitting in surprise as Patrick began talking, looked out the flat and gone into shock once she realized the man was serious. "_Well, Mama always said everyone had a twin, but this is downright insane. Though, I best not worry about that,"_ she thought,_ "the least I can do for Nick and his family is to send a telegram to the Barkleys when we get to Holt. They deserve at least a warning it's Nick's twin delivering those horses!" _She had to smile and start chuckling softly. Too bad she had to stay with her aunt and uncle; she'd have loved to see Nick's face when Patrick and his fiancée rode up.


	12. Chapter 12

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. **

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Twelve**

Patrick paid the man in Holt's livery stable, throwing in a few extra dollars after the man agreed to put a couple of guards on the horses. "_I'm not positive,_" Patrick had told the fellow, "_but I think there's a chance an old 'friend' of ours may try to take them. He wasn't exactly happy with Cat's refusal to sell." _He then led Cat out of the liver stable and down towards the sheriff's.

"You be thinkin' Mr. Matthew be the one followin' us?" Cat had surprised Patrick, though not necessarily shocked him, when she had come right out and said someone was following them.

Patrick nodded, "I think there's a chance of it." He opened the door to the sheriff's office and held it open for Cat.

The lawman, Sheriff Michael, was going through some wanted posted and other mail including a letter from the Pinkerton Agent given the job of finding Nick; the agent happened to be a good friend of the sheriff's. Before he could say anything he got another shock as Patrick introduced himself and Cat. "Are you all right, sheriff?" Patrick thought for sure the man was having a heart attack on him.

"I'm fine," the lawman hurried to put his mail in a pile and pushed it aside. Having only heard about the famous rancher, but never having met him, Sheriff Michael told himself this was simply a case of someone having the dumb luck of looking like someone else. "What may I do for you?"

Patrick explained the situation, "I'm sure it's Mr. Matthews following us. I just want you to be aware of everything as, if he comes at Cat, the horses or myself, I won't be leaving my gun in its holster." Doing that, in his eyes, would be insane. He then added, "Who in this town has the right to marry two people?"

"The preacher lives just down the road. First house you come to on your left and, don't worry, I'll keep my eyes open for your 'friend'. I don't care for troublemakers coming into this town." Sheriff Michael answered, and then watched the couple leave.

"Guess my friend should know Mr. Barkley has a twin," the sheriff stood up as he decided to head to the telegraph office.

Making their way to the preachers' house, Patrick knocked on the door. It wasn't long before he and Cat were standing in Reverend Howell's living room. "Do you have any witnesses?" the Reverend asked, thinking maybe the couple had someone waiting nearby.

"No," Patrick was surprised to feel great pain shoot through the very center of him, as if someone was trying to tell him he had people more than willing to witness his marriage. Knowing he had no way to tell anyone from his past what was going on, he simply shook his head and finished, "Her family is back east and I have no one besides her." Cat, sensing his pain, automatically slipped her hand into his.

The good reverend felt bad for the couple and turned around, "my wife and children love a good wedding, just wait right here." The man disappeared out of the room.

"We could be waitin'," Cat looked up at him with compassion in her eyes, "we're sure to make friends in Stockton sooner or later."

Patrick knew that. He also knew he couldn't take a chance, not with the way things stood, "No." He wrapped his arms around her. "We best marry as soon as possible." _'The sooner we marry the better, can't risk you dying and your family burying you outside this state."_ That was a thought that came into his mind, one he kept there. His smile wrapped itself around her making her, once again, grateful he'd come into her life.

The sound of the reverend's two daughters and three sons bursting into the room broke the couple apart. Mrs. Howell, obviously carrying another child, handed Cat a bouquet of poppies she'd gathered while on her walk only hours before, "I was going to keep these wild flowers as a table decoration for a few days, but every bride oughta have flowers."

"As we gather…" the reverend began talking, Patrick and Cat were listening close enough to be able to exchange the vows without make fools of themselves but, once the ceremony was over, they wasted no time in thanking the family and making their way to the hotel.

Once inside the room, Patrick held his bride close. "I'll do me best to make sure you never 'ave reason to be sorry for askin' me to marry you." Pepper said as she returned the embrace tears running down her face.

"Hey," Patrick tilted her head back, "no tears today. They're not allowed; that is, not any negative ones. We'll deliver these horses to the Barkley ranch tomorrow, and then we'll go see the docs, the boats, the river, and anything else you want to see. Understand?"

Cat eyes shone bright through her tears, "I understand." She answered as slid her arms up his chest, giving him a look that sent tremors through every inch of him.

"Are you sure, Cat? Are you up to it?" Patrick had no desire to put his own needs and desires above what was best for his wife; he hadn't married her for such selfish purposes.

"I go through me cycles I admit, but I'm fine for now," she assured him as she again ran her hands up and down the front of him, "but 'eaven knows 'ow long until I go through another spell or 'ow long it be lastin'. I be wantin' and needin' you Patrick Barnes at least this once, please, don't be denyin' me out of fear." Her words, along with the longing in her eyes, did it. He pulled her close.

Patrick lowered his head and covered her mouth with his as he felt the fire she'd stirred up inside him begin to rage. "_She's not dying from anything contagious; I can guarantee you that." _Patrick's kisses went for gentle to ones with more urgency and passion in them as the doctor's words rang in his ears. As he felt her melting in his arms, her words repeated themselves; "_I'm fine for now."_ He started unbuttoning her dress. He needed her, and she needed him. Was it the kind of love he'd heard people only dream about or were they just two people thrown together through circumstances beyond their control? He didn't know for sure but, as her dress fell to the floor and he laid her down, Patrick knew it didn't really matter. For better or for worse, they belonged to each other.

.


	13. Chapter 13

**I do NOT own The Big Valley or any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader for all her help and to Martha for answering a lot of questions when it comes to California, towns, distances etc.**

***Victoria's memory comes from the episode "Presumed Dead".**

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Thirteen **

Jarrod stood in front of the fireplace in the living room and waited until Audra and Victoria sat down. Heath remained standing near the couch. "What is it?" Victoria knew Jarrod had to have major news as she saw the telegrams in his hands. After all, telegrams meant news, good or bad, they meant news.

"Is it Nick?" Heath stood with his hands on top of the couch, mostly to brace himself if the news was indeed about his missing brother and it wasn't good.

Jarrod looked at the telegrams and sighed, "It may be." He wasn't surprised by the confused looks that came upon the family's faces, as he looked at both telegrams again. "Either Nick has a twin or," Jarrod paused and sighed. "Nick's helping…" he paused again as he looked at the second telegram, "his wife deliver her horses to us soon."

Major shock waves ran through each and every one of the Barkleys. Audra gasped, Victoria had to use everything she had inside of her to keep her composure and Heath was grateful he had a hold of the couch. "Exactly what do those telegrams say, and who are they from?" Victoria looked at the telegrams and then to Jarrod.

"_Met Patrick Barnes helping fiancée bring horses to you. Could pass for Nick. Warn Nick not to have heart failure when he meets him. Anna Bronson." _Jarrod looked at his family, not surprised to see turmoil inside their eyes; he felt it too. He read the other one. "_Mr. Barkley. Received telegram from friend in Holt. One Patrick Barnes married Cat O'Brian there. Heading your way. Fits brother's description. Chance brother suffering from amnesia. Please advise when he arrives. Will continue looking. Detective Bryan C Colt." _

"Amnesia." Victoria again steadied herself as she remembered standing in a jail cell with her own lost memory returning and what it had been like to realize what her family had been put through not knowing where she was, or what had happened. "Jarrod, you have to go into town. Will you stop by and talk to Dr. Merar? Find out more about amnesia and, if it is Nick," she cleared her throat, "if it's not just someone who bears a striking resemblance to him, ask the good doctor what we should do, please." She had to know. She had to know if there was anything they could do to help Nick remember, if it was indeed him.

Jarrod felt as if he was walking on thin ice, just waiting for it to break. He took a deep breath. "I already have, Mother." He looked at each member of his family and saw the hope within each of them. How he hated what he had to say. "He said he couldn't tell us what to do; however," he could see a razor sharp knife going through each member of the Barkley clan and felt his own shearing him in two, "we risk a great deal by pressing the issue. The medical field is still learning about the human brain and the results that can come from, as the doctor said, 'that kind of pressure'."

"So, if it's Nick," Heath exploded, "we say nothing at all? We can't even tell him his real name?" He whirled around to leave only to have Victoria jump up to her feet and plant herself in front of him.

"Heath Barkley!" Her voice was not necessarily loud, it was only raised. "I know how upsetting this is to you, to all of us. We have to think about him though," she choked on her words, making Heath's shoulder sag as he felt resignation setting in, "we do nothing that would hurt him in any way, if it's him." There was no way she was going to stand by and watch any member of the family hurt another member, not if she could help it.

Heath sighed as he quietly said, "I'll warn McCall and the others." He headed for the door; no one tried to stop him.

"I want it to be him," Audra grasped her hands together, "and I don't. That sounds awful doesn't it?" She looked at her mother and oldest brother. She didn't like feeling 'this way', but she felt so mixed up inside. Yes, her mother had had amnesia, but she knew who she was before she actually came home. The idea of having Nick on the ranch, but not knowing who he really was, it was heartbreaking.

"No," Victoria gave her a sad smile, "it sounds like a very normal reaction to such news." She looked at Jarrod. "They're to arrive tomorrow, correct?" She was sure she had it right, only the news had her a bit rattled and now she couldn't quite remember.

Jarrod nodded. "That's what Miss…I mean, Mrs. Barnes said in her telegram." '_One more telegram though, and I think I'll scream_.' It was a thought he kept to himself as he left his mother and Audra to talk while he headed for his study.


	14. Chapter 14

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader for all her help and to Martha for answering a lot of questions when it comes to California, towns, distances etc.**

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Patrick and Cat were getting the horses ready to go when they heard quiet footsteps. Once again they were alerted to danger, as it sounded as if someone was trying to hide the fact they were coming. Patrick quickly moved into a position to cover the back door, as that was the direction the noise was coming from. Cat didn't exactly waste time finding cover, after retrieving the rifle off her horse.

Patrick was not surprised when Matthew Miller slipped into the livery stable and headed for the horses. "I'd stop right there if I were you." Patrick cocked his pistol as he stepped into view. Mr. Miller, bent on getting the horses, whirled around intent on shooting the man behind him only to find two bullets saying hello to him as both Patrick and Cat fired their weapons. Patrick, naturally, had shot out of a need to survive, and Cat had instinctively sought to protect her husband. Before Mr. Miller fell he got a shot off, and it hit Patrick in the left arm.

Cat ran to his side, removed his hand and quickly ripped his shirt sleeve in order to have something to stop the bleeding until they got to a doctor. Before she could say anything the sheriff, along with a few citizens, was standing in the livery stable.

"Your friend?" The sheriff's sarcasm was not lost on the Barnes'.

"Yes," Patrick nodded, "that's him." Patrick held still while Cat finished with his arm.

"Doc's in his office," the sheriff said as he and the local undertaker, a Joshua Snyder, picked up the dead man. "I'm sure he can help you."

"Thanks," Patrick said as he and Cat headed out of the livery stable.

As they headed down the street, with more than one head turning, Cat smiled. "I'm glad you only be takin' a bullet in your arm, and not anywhere else. I'd 'ate to 'ave to kill you for dyin' on me." She winked at him and laughed.

Patrick chuckled. "It would almost be worth it, just to see how you would do it." That might have earned him a slap on the arm, only she was standing on his injured side and there was no way she was going to do that one.

"That be not even close to bein' funny, Patrick Barnes," Cat chastised him, grinning as she did so, "you 'ave to live a long life. You just 'ave to."

Patrick said nothing as he opened the door to the doctor's office. One, his arm felt like it was killing him and two, he had to fight the angry feelings that wanted to come again, the angry feelings that said 'the Grim Reaper', as his wife put it, had no right to be making plans to come and get Cat either. She must have known what he was thinking as she reached up and, putting her hand on his good arm, said, "I'm sorry. I be not thinkin' when I said that. Don't be startin' to feel sorry for me, let's just enjoy our time together. Now, come on, let's get in there and 'ave the doctor do 'is job."

Dr. Adam Hinton was just getting ready to leave when the door opened. Somehow, he wasn't surprised by what he saw, as he'd heard the gunshots down the street. "At least you're walking in here." The white haired gentleman led the injured patient down to the room he used when he had to operate on people; too many men have to be carried in. "You can wait out here, miss."

"Mrs." Cat bristled at being called miss, "Mrs. Barnes." She didn't realize it, but she was throwing some pretty good sized icicles the good doctor's way.

"It's okay, Cat," Patrick smiled at his wife, "it's a compliment really."

"I don't see 'ow, I'm your wife. What with us bein' married, if 'e calls me miss and someone 'ears 'im, that someone who don't know we be man and wife, they might think I'm a *slapper!" She stood with her hands on her hips and steam rolling out of her ears.

The good doctor didn't know what she meant by slapper, but he could pretty well guess. He smiled as Patrick lay down on the table. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Barnes, I meant no offense. Please, wait out in the waiting room. I'll be with you as soon as I can."

Patrick couldn't help but chuckle slightly as she turned out and walked back towards the 'waiting room'; he also sighed. It would be nice if he could just remember who he was. He'd like his family, if he had one, to meet his wife before she passed away. When the doctor offered him a drink, Patrick declined and told the doctor just to give him something to bite down upon instead. His exact words were, "If I didn't have the horses to move, I'd take some whiskey. However, we can't be sticking around just get the blasted thing out of my arm!" He'd have said something else only the door was slightly ajar and he didn't want Cat to hear any of the foul language he could think of.

*** Slapper** - A slapper is a female who is a bit loose. Probably also translates into **tramp**.


	15. Back on the Ranch

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader for all her help and to Martha for answering a lot of questions when it comes to California, towns, distances etc., and to Cynn and my sister for the hours they spent helping me get past the few walls I hit while writing this story.**

***I don't know if Fred (the sheriff) was supposed to be married or not. I never have been able to catch that fact on you tube. So, if he's not? He is now, and he has children etc. **

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Fifteen**

Jarrod and Heath stood outside Fred's office talking to the lawman. Fred was still in shock the two had confirmed what he'd been hearing around town. "Yes, Fred, that's right." Jarrod shrugged his shoulders. "Mother doesn't want a word said to him. She's afraid of pushing him away and losing all contact with him."

Fred wasn't going to argue with him on that point. He knew how he felt about his own children and grandchildren. If something happened to one of them, he'd have felt the same way. "Will they be coming through town or straight out to the ranch?" He knew that part wasn't important; he was just curious.

Jarrod shook his head. "We don't really know. We need to get back to the ranch just in case they go straight there. We just wanted the word to get around, just in case. We'll see you later." Personally, he was praying the couple went straight to the ranch. He could come up with more than one name that might get some idea into their head if his brother showed up in town first.

"See you." Fred walked away leaving Jarrod and Heath to mount their horses and head back to the ranch.

"You got another telegram today." Heath made the statement after they left town. It caught Jarrod by surprise as he'd said nothing about the telegram to Heath.

"Julia say something to you?" Jarrod asked because the woman was known to talk, and she was running the telegraph office for a few days.

"No," Heath turned his head toward his brother and gave him a look that said '_I'm not stupid'_, "but you stopped telling people it might not be him. What does that telegram say?" It had to have held some news for Jarrod to drop the 'might not be' part.

Jarrod didn't answer for a moment; he was too busy chastising himself for not taking the time to stop and think Heath would catch onto the omission. "It was from the Pinkerton detective. He talked to people in Rockville, this time handing out Nick's description. Want to take a guess what the outcome was?"

Heath didn't have to guess. "We should have taken her up on her offer." He found himself angry to realize just how close they'd been to Nick the first time around.

Jarrod didn't want to see his brother beat himself up over something that they couldn't change; it wouldn't help them or him. "We didn't. There's no way to change that fact and useless to dwell on it. He's alive; that's the important part. We just have to find a way to keep him on the ranch once they get here." He hoped that by being on the ranch his brother would be given back his memories.

As they rode along, Jarrod remembered all the times Nick had been there for him, for Heath, for that matter, all the times he had been there for any of them. He also remembered the times the family had had to wait and hope the news Dr. Merar gave them would be good news. "_We should have taken her up on her offer." _Heath's words, just spoken, rang again in his ears. All he could do was sigh, as he was having a hard time not raking himself over the coals for not following that gut feeling he'd had to follow after her.

By the time they got back to the ranch, Victoria and Audra were outside talking to McCall. Jarrod and Heath dismounted their horses and joined the group. "They're not here yet?" Heath, seeing the concern on all their faces, assumed that was the case. He, himself, felt as if he was on a tightrope and getting ready to fall any moment. He just wanted his brother back and to get back to as normal as possible, considering everything.

"Not yet," Victoria answered as gave him a sympathetic smile, "but, they should be arriving soon. If it's him, we just need to give him all the support we can." She paused then sighed, "We give it without pressuring him to remember us."

Jarrod started to open his mouth to tell them what he'd confessed to Heath on the way home only to have McCall look like he'd seen a ghost and point towards the gate.

"If's he's not Nick," McCall stiffened, diverting the Barkley's attention toward the road leading up to the gate, "I reckon he's his twin."

The Barkleys felt both shock and pain run from the top of their heads to the bottom of their feet as they could see 'Patrick Barnes' and Cat leading the horses toward the ranch.

"It's not his twin," Jarrod spoke softly as he steadied himself, "it's Nick." He handed the telegram to his mother as Heath hurried to open up the gate.


	16. A Job and a New Home

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader, Lorilee, for all her help, to Martha for her answers to a lot of questions when it comes to California, towns, distances etc., and to Cynn and my sister for the hours of help they gave me get past the few walls I hit while writing this story. **

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Patrick stood in the living room with the Barkleys while Cat was sleeping in the room the Barkleys had offered to let her rest in, after seeing how tired she looked. However, Victoria had managed to lay the family picture face down before he saw it; she was afraid it would be too much of a shock if he saw it before he was ready.

Patrick wasn't blind; he could see the fight each member of the Barkley family was having, though he didn't understand why. "I appreciate you letting Cat use one of your rooms; she tires easily," he said as he took the drink Jarrod offered him. "I don't suppose you know of anyone in Stockton looking for help or of an empty house for rent? Of course," he added as he glanced down at his arm resting in its sling, "I wouldn't be much good to anyone for a few weeks. Cat loves water, ships and other things. I promised her we'd settle in Stockton since it's a small river port."

Heath spoke without thinking, not that anyone tried to stop him; after all, they'd all been trying to think of how they were going to convince him to accept a job on the ranch from the beginning. "We need another hand around here, and there's a small two bedroom home not five miles away. Until your arm heals up, you could help around the stables and such."

Although Victoria was a woman who seldom acted, or spoke, without thinking, she was still human. Out of concern for her son and his bride, she slipped up and asked without thinking how 'Patrick, a total stranger', might take her question, or even giving him time to answer Heath, "Your wife seemed more than a bit tired out. Has she been checked by a doctor?"

The sharp and severe pain that entered into his eyes did not pass any of them by. How could it, as he very visibly stiffened the moment the question was asked. An almost angry look came into his eyes, though he didn't purposely put it there. Instantly, Victoria regretted asking, knowing she had just asked about something he probably felt she had no right to ask. In fact, she knew she didn't. No one in the family did; that is, not until he either knew who he was or, at least, had 'become like family'. "I'm sorry," she hurried to do what she could to make amends for her out of the ordinary behavior, "I was definitely out of line just now. Please, forgive me."

The upset look did not go away as Patrick put his glass down and walked over to the window. He stood looking at the vast land in front of his view. _'I could live out me days on this land_." The awe Cat felt as they had arrived on the ranch could be seen in the way her eyes filled with wonder. "_I 'ave never seen anythin' like it before in all me days! Though,_" _she'd chuckled, "nice to know there's water and ships nearby." _

With Patrick visibly shaken, and having his back to them not saying a word, fear now grabbed at the Barkleys' hearts. They worried that, maybe, Patrick would now turn down the job Heath had just offered him and go elsewhere. After what seemed an eternity, Patrick sighed and turned around. Not feeling comfortable talking about Cat's health problems without her permission, especially with people he didn't know, he simply replied, "She's seen one, Mrs. Barkley." He looked at Heath and glanced at the others, the angry look gone. "If you're going to offer me a job, and a place to live you might as well know I can tell you nothing about my past, not even my name is my own. Cat gave it to me after saving my life. Are you sure you still want to take a chance on me? What if I turn out to be a crook or something?"

Heath's crooked grin appeared on his face, relieved he wasn't leaving. His brother was loud, stubborn and hot tempered, also a bit obnoxious at times, but never a crook. "The job's still yours if you want it."

"I'll take it." Patrick headed for the stairs then stopped and looked at Victoria. She held herself like the lady that she was, though he could see great concern, and regret, in her eyes. Naturally, he assumed it was because of Cat, and his reaction to her, Victoria's, question. "I appreciate your concern for my wife, ma'am." He did too. He could tell the concern was sincere and heartfelt, as was the apology. "As we'll be settling down here, we'll be meeting Stockton's doctor soon enough." "_Too soon I'm afraid but not now,"_ he thought as he then turned and headed for, and up, the stairs. There was no way he was sending for a doctor right now; no way was he going to have Cat's rest interrupted.

After he'd disappeared up the stairs, Jarrod poured himself a glass of scotch and held it up slightly. "I guess we know now why she was more concerned about finding a home for the horses than anything else."

A look of horror spread over Audra's face. "Jarrod, you don't think…" She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. She hated the idea of Nick not only having amnesia but losing the only person he knew he loved.

"Nothing else makes sense." Jarrod swallowed his drink and set the glass down upon the table. "Why else would they travel this many miles just to deliver her horses to their new home if she's not? You saw how tired and worn out she looked." He hated thinking it, he didn't want to believe it, but he knew of nothing else that made sense.

Victoria walked over to the table and picked up the turned down picture and gazed upon the face of her middle son. She felt as if her heart was breaking into a million tiny, splinter sized pieces for him. "We have to be here for Nick," she said as she looked up the stairs, "no matter what name he's going by. Who knows, with Eugene coming back to Stockton next week to become Dr. Merar's partner, maybe, just maybe, the two of them can help his wife." No one argued with her as she carried the picture to another room of the house.


	17. A Promise and Eugene's diagnosis

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beta Reader, though all mistakes are my own.**

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Seventeen**

Patrick lifted, moved and rearranged the crates one of the captains had been kind enough to let him use into the closest thing he could call a "couch". Now Cat and he sat on them and looked over the docks, water and at the ships coming and going. Cat's legs stretched out onto the crates while she rested against his chest with her head on the front of his shoulder. The breeze that was blowing over the water seemed to scoop up the fresh smell and carry it over to where the two sat.

"I feel like a child on Christmas Day," Cat said as she moved her hand up and down Patrick's shoulder, "and I 'ave everythin' me 'eart could desire. Thank you, for what you've given me." She lifted up her head and looked up into Patrick's eyes, saddened to see the pain she saw in them. "I 'ave been selfish, 'aven't I? I never meant to 'urt you. I never wanted that." She held her hand against his cheek. She loved him so much it hurt; it hurt even more to see the emotions he was fighting inside of himself.

Patrick shook his head. "I've been with you long enough to know you don't have a selfish bone in your body, Catraione O'Brian Barnes. I just don't want to let you go. With the advances they've made in medicine, why can't they find something to save you?" He knew she didn't have the answer to that one; he was speaking more out of a true love for her, anger at the fact she was being robbed of her life so young and a thousand other reasons that ran across the stage of his mind.

Cat didn't say anything for a moment as she thought on everything she'd either felt, or observed, upon reaching the Barkley ranch. Maybe, just maybe, she hadn't been selfish but she would be if she didn't tell him the feelings that had been pressing themselves upon her mind, and her heart, ever since she first laid eyes on the Barkley family and their ranch. "I want you to be promisin' me somethin', Mister Barnes." That made him sit straight up, as she never called him Mister Barnes unless it was something very serious. "You can bury me near the river, in the graveyard or wherever you a mind to, but," she ran her hand down the side of his face, which only caused him to turn his face into her palm, "don't be leavin' the Barkleys after I pass on. That is, work for them for at least a year. Promise me that."

Patrick was puzzled. He looked right at her and asked, "Why do you want me to promise such a thing? I only came here for your sake, to bring your horses to the Barkleys, so you could be near the dock and have a river nearby. Why would I want to stay when you are gone?" Why would he want to hang around without her was beyond him.

Cat sighed. "They'll 'elp you 'eal, Patrick. I know it be soundin' crazy, but it's the gospel truth, it 'tis. I can feel it." She then confessed having met Jarrod and Heath before, "I 'ad a good feelin' 'bout 'em at the time, but the moment I stepped me foot onto that ranch, the moment I looked into each of their eyes," she shrugged her shoulders as frustration appeared on her face, "there be 'ealin' there for you. A 'ealin' I can't give you." She laid her head upon the front of his shoulder again. "I know it's not makin' sense to you, it be not makin' sense to me either, but 'tis true. You need 'ealin' Patrick. After a year, you can go anywhere you want, just please," she snuggled up as close as she could get to him, "I just be wantin' what's best for you. That ranch, the Barkleys…" Her voice got soft, so soft he was afraid she might be passing away right there on the docks; she wasn't. She was just being lulled to sleep by the sound of the water, the feel of the breeze and the strength she felt held in the security of his embrace. "It be the best place for you for right now; I feel it, really I do."

Patrick said nothing as he realized she had lost the battle and was sleeping. He hoped no one would get upset if he just sat there and let her sleep against him while he thought upon her request. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't deny the pull he'd felt once the ranch had come into sight. Nor could he, if he wanted to, deny the overwhelming feeling of belonging that had come over him when Heath Barkley had offered him the job. "I'll give it a year," he whispered as he held Cat close to him, praying for as much time as the man upstairs would spare them.

While Patrick and Cat were down at the docks, Victoria and the rest of the Barkleys had gathered in the living room to talk, including Eugene who had just returned from England the day before.

"Is there nothing Dr. Merar can do for her?" Audra looked at her brother, a look of desperation in her eyes.

Eugene rubbed his forehead; he was more frustrated than anything. Sighing, he shook his head. "Life isn't always fair. Dr. Merar says her symptoms point to a fatal blood disease."

"There's got to be something they can do for her!" Heath was upset that his brother had finally found someone who had his heart and soul, only to find out the woman was dying.

Eugene looked at his family, finally confessing what was driving him up a wall. "I had a very good man, an excellent doctor, tell me once that someday I would come across a case that would test my commitment to the medical field. He went on to say that he could promise I would find myself looking at a case I _knew_ in my gut had been misdiagnosed, but I wouldn't be able to prove it. That is, he said I'd not be able to put my finger on it and it would drive me to question my ability and if I should be in the medical field at all."

His confession shocked the family, and they stared at him. "Are you saying you don't agree with Dr. Merar?" Victoria looked at her youngest son closely.

"No, I don't." Eugene threw his hands up in the air and walked to the window and turned around. "If she has what her doctor and Dr. Merar says she does? She'd be tired all the time, not just having cycles of fatigue. She'd also be in a great deal of pain and feeling like her body was extremely hot at night. She's doing none of those things."

"Then why are they convinced she has a fatal blood disease?" Audra asked. She was confused and didn't like it.

"Because she is tiring so easily and has, at times, had to deal with nosebleeds," Eugene answered, frustration again sounded in his voice, "but, it doesn't set right in here." He pointed to his stomach. "My gut is telling me if I could just figure it out I could save her. Scary thing is, if a person is convinced they're dying, they can will themselves to die. I've seen it happen too many times since leaving home."

"Have you tried talking to her?" Victoria couldn't see why he shouldn't.

A scowl came upon Eugene's face. "I tried, but all she'd say is 'Dr. Merar and Dr. Jacobs be 'avin' fifty years of experience between the two of them; they be knowin' what they be talkin' about. 'Tis it not bad enough Patrick and I be 'avin' so little time together, be you wantin' to add to our 'eartache?' " Eugene walked over and sat down on the couch and shook his head. "I'm afraid, unless I can figure it out, she'll die."

"Keeping working at it son, but," Victoria said as she folded her hands together and spoke quietly, but with conviction, "no matter what don't you dare question your ability or where you belong. You're only human. You'll save some and lose some that's true, but never question where you belong. For now, we have got to accept the fact that Cat is dying, there is nothing we can do about it, and," she choked as she fought the pain she felt for her son run through her, "Nick is going to need us more than ever when she crosses over."

"What if he leaves?" Jarrod, not knowing of the promise Patrick had just made to Cat, spoke up from where he stood behind the couch. "Unless we tell him who he is, his grief may not allow him to stay."

No one spoke for a moment as the same thought had crossed all their minds. She wanted to tell him, had since the day he rode up, but she couldn't forget the fact that doing so could very well hurt him. Slowly, again softly, Victoria forced herself to answer. "Then," she stood up knowing she was about to lose the fight with the tears that wanted to come, "we let him go. If he comes back, it was meant to be. If not, we accept it." She turned around and quickly, but graciously, left the room.


	18. Chapter 18

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader, though all mistakes are my own. *On the other site I inserted a paragraph and combined chapter 17 and18.**

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Hey!" Audra laughed as flour flew through the air and landed onto her head. She had ridden over to see Cat, as Patrick was off working with Heath and the rest of the men. Okay, truth be told, she'd overheard her brother telling Jarrod and Heath he was concerned about leaving Cat alone, but that "_That gal is far too stubborn to ask for company."_ Well, if Cat was too stubborn to ask, Audra figured she could be stubborn enough to make sure the young woman had company and had been begun making regular visits, when Patrick and Cat weren't over at the main house.

"I told you I be a mess in the kitchen!" Cat laughed as she and Audra continued with the baking. "It was kind of you to be comin' over for a visit." Cat quit laughing as she looked upon the blond hair gal that stood on the other side of the table. "I appreciate it." She did too. It was felt good to have some female companionship at times.

Audra, wanting to know just what had caused Nick's amnesia, but not daring to go against her mother's wishes, found a back door to the question and opened it up. "How did you meet Patrick? The two of you seem so right together."

Cat's smile left her face and she grew quiet. Naturally, the young woman would be curious and feel free to ask such a question. After all, hadn't she become a good friend? "'e showed up one day at me 'ouse, beaten up and shot." She wasn't surprised at the shocked looked that came upon the young woman's face as she, Cat, began relating the events of that not so distant day. "'e 'ad to 'ave a name, so I gave 'im one. 'e stayed around out of kindness to me and me 'orses." Cat's smile returned and her eyes lit up. "Somewhere between the mercy we both be givin' each other, love came about."

Audra looked at Cat and cautiously asked, "What about his family? If someone could tell him who he was and all about his past, wouldn't he like to know?" She figured there was no harm in asking the question.

Cat shook her head. "If you be wantin' to know that, ask 'im." As much as she liked the young woman, Cat wasn't about to discuss all the private conversations she'd had with Patrick with her. "Now," she said as she laughed and put the cookies in the oven, "we best be getting' this 'ere kitchen cleaned up. Patrick don't care none to see a dirty kitchen the moment 'e sets 'is foot in the door." Personally, she thought having the kitchen placed in such a manner as to be seen from the front door was stupid. If she had more time, she'd have insisted on building their own house, with the kitchen hid away in some corner.

Audra and Cat may have been having the times of their lives, but Heath and Patrick were not. "Looks like someone's been cutting your fence lines." Patrick stood next to the fence next to Heath, McCall and Jimmy, unsettled as he realized how angry he felt that someone was doing such a thing to the Barkleys. Maybe, just maybe, Cat had a point when she'd said, _'You belong 'ere, somehow, I feel it. You should be askin' questions, you should_.' If he felt this strongly about the Barkleys, and the threat someone posed to them, maybe he _should_ seriously consider making it his permanent home. After all, Mrs. Barkley and her family had made it quite clear he was more than welcome to stay in the small house for as long as he wanted.

"Been a long time since we had any problem with anyone." McCall spoke to Heath, but kept an eye on the man he couldn't stop thinking of as boss. "You think those McQueen boys are up to no good again?" 'Those McQueen boys were sons to one of most decent men in Stockton; only trouble was, he was seldom home and it was having a negative effect upon his two youngest boys. The two boys were constantly doing what they could to cause someone a headache.

"Let's hope so; after all, if it's them, it'll be easy enough to deal with," Heath said as he looked at his brother. If he included him in the decisions made, maybe it would stir something around in him. "What do you want to do? Fix this fence line or go up with us to the north pasture?"

Patrick was caught off guard. Since when did a hired hand get a choice of what to do? If anything, why wasn't he asking McCall or Jimmy? After all, from the sounds of it, the men had worked for the family for years. He looked at the men; they showed no hint of any resentment at not being asked first. In fact, they were acting as if it was normal. "If you're saying I have a choice," Patrick answered, "I'll fix the fence line." He would have opted to go to the north pasture, but he could see the house Cat and he were living in from where he stood. If he fixed the fence line, he could keep an eye on the house too.

Heath saw his brother glance in the direction of his home and easily guessed the reason. As he surveyed the fence, Heath had an idea. "If they've cut this part of the fence, there's a chance they've cut other parts of it. Jimmy, why don't you stay and help Patrick? McCall and I can head to the north pasture."

"Yes, sir, be glad to," Jimmy answered as he and Patrick started in on the fence.

Once McCall knew they were far away there was no way either men could hear them, he asked, "Is anyone ever going to tell Nick the truth?" He hated going around treating the man like one of the regular ranch hands. The man had run the ranch for too many years to do that.

The question shot a thousand arrows into the very center of Heath. "Not without going against Mother's wishes. Let's go see if anything else has been tampered with," Heath said as he spurred Charger forward. He had no desire to talk about something he felt he had no control over. By nightfall Heath was back at the main house while 'Patrick' was standing on the porch of his home.

Cat walked up and stood beside him. "What be on your mind, cowboy?" She laid her hand on his arm. He had such a troubled look on his face; it worried her.

He had to give her a slight smile. She'd given him the nickname of cowboy the moment she'd seen how well he'd handled the horses. "Someone's trying to cause trouble for the Barkleys' and I don't' like it." His eyes narrowed as he spoke and his voice grew hard. He knew it was more than that, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe, that was making it worse, not knowing why he felt so strongly he had to be there for the Barkleys.

"I be right." Cat turned around and leaned up against the railing. "There besomethin' 'ere and with the Barkleys for you. You feel it too." She could see it in his eyes.

"Yes." He finally admitted what his gut had known from the beginning. "There's something here, but what?" He'd tried and tried to figure it out, but finally given up, as it only made his head start hurting immensely.

"There be only one family be answerin' that for you," she answered as she slid her arms up his chest and around his neck, "the Barkleys. I told you before and I be tellin' you now, ask 'em, or I can." She would too; if it gave him a peace of mind, she was willing.

"No," Patrick told her as he pulled her close and held her tight, "if, and when, anyone does the asking it will be me." At that moment, he found himself not wanting to dwell on who he might be, who might be causing the trouble or when he'd be losing his wife-that was something that was always in the corner of his mind as she seemed to getting tired more easily and going to bed earlier. With the various sounds of the night playing their music to the couple standing in the dark, Patrick whispered, "May I have this dance?" Cat simply held on and let him take the lead.


	19. Church Social

_**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader, though all mistakes are my own.**_

_**I've taking liberty with the church's surroundings and putting a few things in that, as far as I know, were not in the show. If they were? I'll start laughing.**_

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Nineteen**

Jarrod and Victoria were sitting at one of the church picnic tables when Fred walked up. They'd taken a break from socializing, leaving it to Heath, Eugene and Audra to worry about that end of things. "Hello." He held out his hand and shook hands with Jarrod and Victoria. "How is he?" he asked when he spied Patrick and Cat enjoying a slow dance.

Both Victoria and Jarrod sighed and shook their heads. "Doesn't seem to be any closer to remembering who he is as he was the first day he got here," Jarrod answered as he watched his brother, obviously very much in love as his eyes never left Cat's face. "I've actually been holding my breath, thought for sure someone would have slipped up by now and said something to him."

Fred nodded and replied, "I was afraid of that myself, but…" He paused and then continued speaking, "I've actually had a number of people say they've gone around making sure everyone keeps their mouth shut. It seems like word has gotten around that Cat there is dying and folks want her to enjoy her days with Nick, or Patrick as he is going by. Even the ones who don't like him have agreed to keep their mouths shut for that very reason." He shook his head. "Still, I'm amazed no one has slipped up."

Smiles spread across Jarrod and Victoria's face. They were relieved to hear no one would say anything to push Nick away, even if they were doing it for his wife's sake. "Guess we best pray he remembers something before she passes away." Jarrod kept his eye on Nick and Cat; he wondered just how realistic it was to think people would continue to be quiet once Cat had died.

Jarrod may have been keeping his eye on his brother, but Patrick never once noticed it. After the dance was over, Patrick and Cat walked arm in arm over to the small arch-shaped bridge that had been put up simply to decorate the church yard. "We could head home," Patrick said as he Cat leaned on the bridge, "you look tired." She did too; it worried him.

"Why?" Cat grinned at him, her eyebrows raised. "So I can lie down and you be out searchin' for clues to who be makin' trouble for the Barkleys? Or are you goin' to be denyin' what you been doin' be'ind me back?"

Patrick would have tried to come up with a defense, but he knew it would be useless. "I can't help it." Patrick's shoulders slumped slightly as he leaned on the bridge. "There's something that telling me to protect them. I don't know why. Maybe, I know them. But does it matter right now?" he asked as he smiled upon his wife. "I've found a pot of gold already." Out of the corner of his eyes he saw two young men looking his way, and then hurrying away. He couldn't help but notice it was the young men Heath referred as 'those McQueen boys'. He'd noticed them nearby on other occasions Cat and he had been talking; now, he couldn't help but wonder about them.

Cat looked over to where the music as still playing and could see the Barkleys mingling with the other citizens of Stockton, and then turned her attention back to her husband. She smiled. "Patrick Barnes, as 'appy as I be to 'ear you consider me a pot of gold, don't be goin' and changin' subjects! 'ow long we be here now? Three months? The Barkleys are good people. I've told you again and again, if you feel you be knowin' 'em, talk to 'em." She started to move away from the bridge and had to grab back on, as she found herself a bit dizzy.

"Cat?" Patrick hurried and wrapped his arm around her waist to give her some support.

Cat held onto him and nodded towards the buggy. "I think we best be goin' 'ome, but please," she begged him, "let's see what we can be doin' 'bout makin' this look as natural as possible. Last thing we be needin' be folks' night out bein' ruined because of me spells."

Patrick didn't argue as he helped her walk to the buggy. From a distance all anyone saw was a couple very much in love leaving the party. "They're not staying for supper or desert; I baked an apple pie just for them," Audra complained to her family as they watched Patrick and Cat drive away in the buggy.

"Maybe, that's why they left." Heath gave his sister a crooked smiled and chuckled. It only served to get him a soft glare. He didn't care, at least Jarrod and Eugene were grinning at the thought. Victoria didn't give him any reaction, she was too busy watching the buggy leave and feeling very uncomfortable at the early departure.


	20. Some Questions, Some Answers and Not Now

_**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader, though all mistakes are my own. Yes, this chapter is a bit longer than most.**_

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Twenty**

Patrick headed for the barn. McCall had told him some more fence line had been cut and some horses had gotten loose. He, McCall, and a few of the boys were going after the horses and that he, Patrick, needed to get the fence fixed. He reached the barn only to hear Jimmy and Matthew, another ranch hand, talking. The two men were inside the barn, and the window was opened.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," Jimmy was complaining to Matt. "It's not that I necessarily mind taking orders from McCall, but to stand by and listen to the man order _him_ around." The man's irritation could be heard in his voice. "It ain't natural; it's supposed to be the other way around!"

"I know that!" Matt shot back angrily. "You know that, everyone knows it but him! What are we supposed to do though? The Barkleys have bluntly forbid anyone to say anything."

"Yeah," Jimmy answered, "we get the whole Barkley clan down our backs if we say a word, and then we're toast! Still don't like it!" Stunned beyond measure, it was all Patrick could do to get himself to walk around the corner and open the door. He wasn't surprised when both men quickly made excuses and went back to work. Maybe, they weren't going to stick around to give him some answers, but he knew one man he was going to corner before he did anything else!

He left the barn and went straight for the Barkley home. '"_It ain't natural; it's supposed to be the other way around!" _The words rang in Patrick's ears as he knocked on the front door. It wasn't long before the door opened. Silas smiled and stepped aside. "May I help you Mister Patrick?" It had never bothered Patrick that the butler called him "Mister" as he figured the man was just being polite, now he wondered about that.

Patrick figured any of the Barkley men could give him the answers to the questions he had and, since Heath was with McCall, and Eugene was in town, it was either ask Jarrod or ride miles to get to Heath or Eugene. "I need to see Jarrod."

"Mister Jarrod is in his study," Silas led Patrick to the room, and then went back to work.

Jarrod looked up, the surprise he felt at seeing Patrick step into the room could be seen in his stiffening back and widened eyes. "I thought McCall said you were mending more fence lines."

"I'm supposed to be," Patrick answered, but stood planted where he was, while his eyes had a look in them that Jarrod had seen many times before. It was a hard look that said '_I'm __**not**__ leaving here without some answers'_. "I have a few questions for you though."

Jarrod found himself holding his breath, and quickly exhaled. "Sit down," Jarrod said and pointed to the chair, "I don't bite." He gave Patrick a smile.

Patrick hesitated only a moment, and then sat down. He started telling about his trip to the barn and what he had overheard. The fact that Jarrod stiffened up, and remained stiff, did not pass the man by. "What are they talking about?" He looked at the eldest Barkley, "_DID _I give orders to McCall at one time? Did I give orders to the other men?"

_"Tell him nothing, unless he asks first and then only give him direct answers."_ His mother's words rang in Jarrod's ears, along with her words _"I will not stand by and watch anyone do or say anything that might hurt him in __**any**__ way." _Jarrod slowly relaxed and nodded. "Yes, you did."

Patrick felt shock waves go through him. A part of him had known the men were talking about him, the other part told himself it was impossible. "How long has that been the case? I mean, how long was I giving the orders instead of McCall."

_"Ever since our father died,_" was what Jarrod wanted to say; only, his brother hadn't asked about relations. "Going on nine years," Jarrod answered honestly.

Going on nine years! Patrick let out a whistle. No wonder he'd had such a sense of belonging and loyalty to the ranch and family. "Cat's going to love hearing this one." He stood up and walked to the window.

Jarrod smiled, curious as to what his brother meant. "And just why is that?"

Patrick turned his head and gave Jarrod a half smile. "She told me again last night, '_The moment I stepped me foot onto that ranch I knew there be 'ealin' 'ere for you. Why you be not talkin' to 'em?' _Honest truth is," he confessed, "she's been after me for some time to talk to you."

Jarrod couldn't help but grin wide. He'd liked the woman from day one; he liked her even more now. "I can tell you anything you want to know." Though he was kicking himself. _WHY_ hadn't they thought to talk to Cat in the first place!

Patrick turned back to the window. He had wanted to remember things on his own, to know within himself who he was and all that he had ever done. It wasn't happening though. "Why didn't you say something?" His voice held a tone of annoyance in it. That part, no one saying anything, had bothered Patrick to no end the moment he'd realized the men in the barn were, most likely, talking about him.

Jarrod sighed. "Dr. Merar told us it would be dangerous to your mental health, and that we could actually push you further away than you already were if we did. None of us wanted you hurt worse; _that's_ the honest truth." He prayed his brother would believe; he did.

"I appreciate that," Patrick said as he turned away from the window. It felt good to know the loyalty he felt wasn't one sided. Knowing he needed his past back, and the only way to get it back was to swallow his pride and ask, he looked at Jarrod and started to open his mouth to ask for more information when Audra came barreling into the room, panic in her eyes.

"What is it, Audra?" Jarrod practically jumped to his feet.

The young woman looked at Patrick. Patrick didn't have to ask what the problem was; he knew where Audra had gone that morning, and he remembered the way Cat had held onto him the night before. "Where is she?" he bellowed louder than he meant to. It didn't faze the young girl.

"At your home, Mother sent one of the hands for Eugene or…" She didn't get to finish her sentence as Patrick bolted out of the study and Jarrod and Audra wasted no time in following him.

Victoria and Heath were sitting on the couch when Jarrod, Audra and Patrick came through the front door. Patrick wondered how he, Heath, had found out, but didn't ask. "Eugene is with her," Victoria answered the question that was in Patrick's eyes. He headed for the bedroom door; no one tried to stop him.

Eugene turned his head when he heard the door open. He felt horrible for his brother, but not knowing what to say, he said nothing. Eugene simply picked up his bag and walked out the door, shutting it as he went. Patrick walked over to the bed and sat down. Cat, looking quite pale, smiled up at her husband. "You be rememberin' your promise."

"I remember." Patrick choked back his tears feeling as if being run over by a whole herd of cows would have been less painful than what he was feeling at the moment. "I've got to tell you. You were right about one thing for sure," he said as he laid his hand on her cheek and told her what he'd found out, "don't know that I want to see if McCall wants to hand the reins back to me or not, but I'll be sticking around."

Cat closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them back up. "There be more to it than that, there be. Besides, it be not McCall's place to be ridin' alongside 'eath Barkley; time will 'elp you see that, mark me words, it will. For now, if I were you, I'd be seein' 'bout 'elping' 'eath and the rest of the Barkleys find out who be cuttin' fence lines and why. Do that and you be findin' your own rainbow, and its end, when you do," she told him before she sighed, "maybe, you can be comin' to me final restin' place and tell me your given name. Okay, it doesn't really matter none," she said softly, "still, be nice to be told." She firmly believed loves ones how had passed on could still hear the ones they left behind, if the need was important enough.

She was slipping away; Patrick could tell that as she laid her hand on top of his and closed her eyes; he wanted to scream. She couldn't be dying now; he still needed her. He felt his heart skip a beat when she murmured, "Fresh river water, 'ow did you be getin' the smell of river water in the 'ouse?"

River water? Patrick looked around then turned his gaze back to his wife as he watched, helpless, as Cat passed on. "Cat!" The name filled the air full of pain and anguish. It took a second for Patrick to realize that he, himself, was the one crying out her name. He laid his head on her breast and let the tears flow.

Out in the living room, the Barkleys felt the pain fly out of the bedroom and fill the house as they heard 'Patrick' call out for his now departed wife. None of them moved, not knowing what to say or do. Yes, Jarrod had told them what had taken place in the study just before Audra's arrival but they still feared Cat's death would drive him away from the ranch. When Patrick finally stepped out of the room, he spoke not a word as he picked up his hat and walked out the door.

"He's leaving!" Audra jumped to her feet as she looked out the window and saw her brother mounting his horse.

"Calm down," Jarrod spoke up. "First off, he just lost his wife. Second, stop and think." He gave his sister a look of disbelief. "Do you really think he'll ride away before he's even buried her?"

Audra felt quite foolish as Jarrod pointed out the obvious to her. She looked toward the bedroom door, and felt a twinge of guilt for acting like the young woman's death meant nothing to her; it, the death, upset Audra a great deal. "I can't believe she's gone. She was looking better than she in weeks."

"I know, but she is and," Victoria said as she looked out the window and watched her middle son disappear out of sight, "there is nothing we can do now but to be here for him."

Jarrod picked up his hat and headed out of the house. He had a few things to get done early, what with a funeral to deal with. Heath too grabbed his hat and left, though he had no intention of going back to McCall and the boys. He'd tracked Nick on more than one occasion. His brother may not know him, but he still going to be there for him. That is, if 'Patrick' would let him.

Jarrod was just mounting Jingo when Heath shut the front door behind him. "If McCall makes it back to the stables before I do," Heath mounted Charger and looked at Jarrod, "would you apologize for me? I'm going to go on a ride."

Jarrod knew full well where, and what, his brother intended to do. He couldn't blame him; he wasn't going to try to stop him, but he was going to warn him. "He may not want to see you, Heath. Remember he thinks, thanks to this interruption, is most likely thinking he was no more than our foreman for close to eight years."

Heath knew that, but he wasn't changing his mind. He had to do what he could. "I know that," he replied as he put Charger on a dead run in the direction 'Patrick' had gone.


	21. A Talk by the Docks

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader, though all mistakes are my own. *Jarrod's marriage from 'Days of Wrath' is mentioned in this chapter.**

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Heath stood next to the dock watching Patrick as he sat with his legs up on the crates he'd once again arranged into a 'couch'; he was tossing small stones into the river below. Once Heath had realized the man was heading towards Stockton, it hadn't been hard to figure out where he went. He made his way to his brother and, finding another empty crate, pulled it over and sat down on it, facing the river. He said nothing; he simply looked at the water and waited. After what seemed like an eternity, Patrick, who had his eyes on the water spoke, "I swear she would have lived in it if she could."

Heath nodded slightly. "_Nothin' like the smell of a good river!" _He could almost hear Cat repeating the words as she had done on more than one occasion. "You two went good together."

Patrick tossed yet another pebble into the water. "She said she was the water and I was the land," he told Heath as the two of them watched the ripples appear below him, "I feel like a dried up desert. We didn't even get a year together." There was pain and anger in his voice.

Heath sighed; life wasn't always the way a person would like it to be. If it was, Eugene would have figured things out, Cat would be alive and Jarrod would have been able to answer all the questions Patrick might have meant to ask him. Now, Heath wondered how soon his brother would be asking them anything. "I ain't never been married myself." Heath picked up a small pebble near his feet and threw it into the water. "But if you ever need anyone to talk to, go to Jarrod. He was married once, but she was killed a week after they got married."

Patrick swung his legs around and sat straight up, shock on his face. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "A week? What the blazes happened!"

Heath shrugged his shoulders and turned around. "A man meant to shoot my brother and missed. Jarrod went crazy with grief, went after the man." He paused then continued, "Well, let's just say he came close to killing the man with his bare hands."

Patrick shook his head as he said, "It's amazing he didn't." He stood up and walked down to the end of the pier, Heath followed him. The sound of the running water seamed to reach up and do what it could to sooth his broken heart.

The sound of the water floated up and rested upon Patrick, as if it was doing its best to sooth his grieving heart. After what felt like a good five minutes, Patrick started speaking. "Like I said before, Cat gave me the name of Patrick Barnes." Patrick closed his eyes and then opened them. "She, no we, always felt there was something familiar about the ranch." He turned to Heath, he could not tell what the man was thinking. "Jarrod said I used to give the orders instead of McCall."

"You did," Heath answered as he kept his eyes on the river; he didn't dare look into his brother's eyes. He was afraid he'd betray his mother's wishes if he did. As it was, Heath felt as someone had a hold of each arm and was pulling as hard as they could in both directions.

Inwardly, Patrick cursed. He wanted to remember things on his own, but every time he tried his head felt as if it was going to split right open. Well, that wasn't quite true. There was one thing that had been pressing on his mind for some time and didn't cause it to hurt. He about jumped when he heard Cat asking, "_What you be waitin' for Patrick? Ask 'im 'bout it!" _

Seeing his brother's face pale a bit, Heath hurried to make sure he was all right. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He hoped so.

Patrick shook his head. "Probably not, but," he looked at Heath and asked, "Who's Nick?"

A crooked smile appeared upon Heath's face as he answered, "You."

Patrick started a bit. His face showed his astonishment. It was _his _name? Feeling a bit unsettled, he headed back for the crates. Heath followed, but said nothing as his brother sat back down on the crates looking as if he didn't know which way to go. While he appreciated Heath's concern, Patrick no longer felt like having any company. "Just leave me alone for right now, please." He picked up a pebble and threw it into the water. "Don't worry; unless you're gonna fire me, I still know the way to the ranch."

As much as Heath disliked the idea of his brother being alone; he understood. "No one's sending you anywhere. The door's always open. You're welcome to come in anytime," Heath said as he turned and headed for Charger.


	22. A Room For Patrick

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader, though all mistakes are my own. **

**End of the Rainbow **

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Victoria, Audra, and Jarrod had just sat down at the dinner table when Heath came in. They'd buried Cat the day before and, when Heath went to check on Nick, he was gone. After he was seated Victoria spoke up. "Did you find him?" She feared the worst; they all did.

Much to the relief of the family, Heath nodded his head. They were also not all that surprised, and even wondered why they hadn't thought about it first, when he answered, "He was down at the docks. He said not to worry; he'll be to work first thing in the morning." He didn't tell them how Nick was fighting a hangover, nor the bill that the saloon keeper had cornered him, Heath, with. He figured his brother was justified in getting drunk the night before and tearing up the saloon just a little bit.

Jarrod shook his head, feeling only empathy for his brother. Any man who had just lost his wife needed space to grieve. "He can have time off; he needs it."

Heath agreed, but shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Patrick says keeping busy is the best thing for him right now."

Audra's eyebrows rose. "I thought you said he asked about the name Nick and you told him it was his name." She didn't understand why her brother wouldn't be going by his real first name now since he knew it.

Victoria felt her heart go out to her middle son. She knew what was going on. Before Heath could say anything, Victoria looked at Audra. "Cat gave your brother that name. Do you really think he's just going to toss it aside?"

"Sis," Heath said as he stirred his food around on his plate, "you also need to consider the fact that he knows he should know 'a Nick'; he doesn't remember it being him. Unless he can accept the fact that I'm telling him the truth, he's not gonna change it."

Audra's mouth turned down slightly. Her mother and brother had a point and she knew it. "You're both right." She looked towards the door. "I still wish I could march out there and make him remember everything." Other than to have blessing on the food, no one said much during supper.

While the family ate supper, Patrick had mounted his horse, rode back to the ranch and was riding over as much as the ranch as he could cover before dark. '_Who's Nick?" "You."_ His question and Heath's answer rang over and over in his mind. _"I shall call you Patrick." _Cat's words from the first day he'd opened up his eyes and found himself in her house also rang in his ears. With the sky darkening, he headed back to the home he'd shared with Cat only to find himself unable to. He had to sleep somewhere though.

_"The door's always open. You're welcome to come in anytime." _Heath's words from the docks rang in his ears. He had no desire to intrude into the Barkley home, but they did have the bunkhouse.

The family was in the living room just getting ready to retire when the knock came on the door. Their surprise, and delight, at seeing Patrick on the other side of the door was evident in their smiles and grins.

"Come on in." Jarrod stepped out of his way allowing Patrick to step inside.

It never ceased to amaze Patrick the warmth and love that the Barkley family showed anyone that came to their door. "I'm sorry," he said as he turned his hat around in his hands, "I know it's getting late. I was wondering…" He paused and shifted his weight a bit. "I was wondering f I could stay in the bunkhouse tonight." He looked at Heath.

"_Your room is still where you left it!_" Heath wanted to scream, but didn't. Still, he had an idea. "Mother," he said as he looked at Victoria, "the bunkhouse is going to be crowded tonight. Couldn't he just sleep in one of the spare rooms for tonight?" Maybe actually spending a night in his old room would kick down a part of the wall he had around his memory.

Patrick started to argue only to find Victoria stopping him. "We have a perfectly good bed you can use upstairs. It's yours to use anytime you wish." She spoke gently, but firmly. Patrick still wanted to argue only, for a split second, he could see Cat standing by his wounded side planting her feet deep.

Patrick looked at Jarrod. He'd had so many questions to ask of the man and now, with Cat gone, he seemed to have no strength to ask for answers. "If I'm not intruding," he said as he looked at each member of the family resting his eyes on Jarrod. Why did he feel the need to look to this man for guidance? He didn't know, but he did.

Jarrod gave him a sympathetic smile. How he wished the doctors knew more about amnesia and the human brain. True, Eugene was looking into it more, but he'd been called out of town at the moment, so they had to continue as they'd been doing. "You're never intruding here. Like Mother just said, it's yours any time you want it."

In his grief and confusion, Patrick did not catch Jarrod's unintentional slip, the slip of implying Victoria was mother to them both. "Thank you, which one is it?" Patrick looked at the stairs.

"I'll show you." Victoria smiled and led him up the stairs.


	23. A Dream and Late Night Pool

**I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader, though all mistakes are my own.**

**End of the Rainbow**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

"_Hey, good looking!" Patrick saw himself standing in a field watching Cat running towards him her arms stretched out. Before he could move, she was in his arms; he kissed her as if his life depended on it._

_"He says my name is Nick." He smiled as he as pulled back just a little, though he kept a hold of his wife._

_"I know," she answered as she gave him a smile and laughed, and then grew serious. "It be okay to let the name I gave you go. I know the kind of man you be, name makes no difference to me. And, dear," she ran her fingers down the side of his face, "it be okay to remember. You be not losin' me if you be rememberin' 'em. If you be not rememberin' on your own, 'tis okay to ask questions. You know," her eyes started twinkling, "you can always be talkin' to Pappy."_

_"Huh?" Patrick was startled to realize he knew the term, should know who it was, but he didn't. Before he could say anything though, he saw her slipping out of his arms. "Cat!"_

_"I'll be 'round as long as you be needin' me. Talk to Pappy!" Cat started fading from view._

"Cat!" Patrick sat straight up, perspiration rolling off his forehead and down his face. He looked around and wiped the perspiration off his face, taking a few minutes to remember where he was and why. He let out a slow breath and swung his legs off of the bed. Throwing his pants and shirt on, he slipped out of the bedroom and walked slowly down the hall.

He told himself he had no right to be wandering around the Barkleys' home in the middle of the night, but he couldn't stop himself. It was as if someone was pushing him to take the tour. He looked at everything from wall decorations to the carpet beneath his feet. _"…orders…McCall…"_ _"Going on nine years." _His words, and Jarrod's, rang in his ears only to be followed by Cat's voice. _"…more than that."_

Patrick, who had his mind so much on the words ringing in his ears, about dropped when he turned a corner and practically bumped into Jarrod. "I'm sorry," he hurried to explain, sure the man was going to be furious at the fact that he was taking such liberties, "I couldn't sleep…"

Jarrod smiled and held up his hand. "Glad it wasn't an intruder I heard. As far as not being able to sleep goes, I've been there."

Patrick remembered what Heath had said down at the docks. He shook his head. "Heath told me about it. I don't know how you kept yourself from killing the man."

Jarrod stiffened and then relaxed. "If it weren't for my brothers, I would have." He knew Patrick would assume he meant Heath and Eugene, but he figured he could clarify that one later. "I know it's past midnight, but how about a game of pool?" He remembered many nights playing pool with Nick; it was one way to get his ornery brother to open up. Maybe, it just might work again.

Pool? In the middle of the night? Patrick might have refused, but it sounded like a good way to relax, and he needed to relax. Once they were by the table and playing, Patrick found himself feeling quite at home. As Patrick hit the ball in front of him, he said, "If I'm not careful, I'm sure McCall will want to do that to my head."

Jarrod's eyebrows rose. "Why is that?" he asked and hid his grin. He didn't want his brother to know he'd already heard about 'it'.

Patrick thought on the incident from earlier that day as he relayed the incident. '_What do you think you're doing being that careless?" Patrick had practically gotten into the face of one of the new hands and started bellowing when the man had inadvertently left a gate open and a few horses had almost gotten loose, along with not watching what he was doing thus knocking over a whole bushel full of peaches. "The Barkleys promised those horses to Mr. Simms and those peaches are worth more than…' _"I never finished my sentence as McCall and Heath intervened. I don't know what got into me," he said as he waited for Jarrod to take his turn, "it's not like I give the orders around here anymore."

"Maybe, you should." Jarrod looked up at his brother and caught a quick glimpse of a man who, deep down inside, knew he'd had every right to be upset.

A part of Patrick bristled at the thought; another part was chomping at the bits to be in charge. "It's McCall's and Heath's place…" he started to object, only to find Jarrod interrupting, and shocking him by repeating, basically, Cat's words.

"It's not McCall's place to work side by side with Heath." Jarrod had, to a degree, 'had it' and partially went against his mother's wishes. "It's yours; that spot was made for you." He looked at Patrick, "Please, take over running the ranch. McCall won't hold it against you, I promise."

Patrick took his turn at the table and watched in delight as he put another ball into a pocket. He set the pool cue on the now empty table and walked to the window. Jarrod leaned against the desk and waited for his brother to speak. When he did, his voice was low as he remembered both his talk with Heath on the docks, along with the dream he'd just had. "I asked Heath who Nick was; he said it was my name."

Jarrod nodded and answered back just as quietly, "It is."

Again, thinking about his dream, he asked, "Who's Pappy?" He was confused as he knew he should know the term but, from the way the family talked, Mrs. Barkley's husband was dead.

Jarrod caught his breath and his eyes widened just a little. That was one question he hadn't seen coming. "Me," he answered slowly, "it's what the family has called me since our father was killed; it stuck."

Patrick looked at him in astonishment. In his dream, he'd recognized the term, but hadn't really thought it was connected to the Barkleys. Up to this point, he figured he was just an employee getting used to being on the ranch again. Now, for the first time, he began questioning that notion.


	24. The Name is Nick and Three Pots of Gold

I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beat Reader, though all mistakes are my own.

End of the Rainbow

Chapter Twenty-Four

The sun reached through the open window and pried Patrick's eye lids open; he groaned and sat up. Playing pool with, and talking to, Jarrod the week before may have been enlightening in some ways, but troublesome in others. The man had answered the few questions Patrick had been able to bring himself to ask, and insisted that he seriously think about running the ranch again, even gave him a week to think about it. He was supposed to give him an answer by dinner time.

He'd had more dreams too, ones where he was working side by side with Heath, talking with Jarrod in his study, even some with some with Mrs. Barkley and Audra only problem as…he could never hear what they were saying to each other. Each and every time he'd wake up crying out for his late wife."Cat, why?" He looked up at the ceiling. "Why couldn't you just have lived a few more months?" He still couldn't shake the feeling that had been stronger with each passing day, the feeling that he _was_ indeed more than an employee, but he just couldn't bring himself to ask any more questions at the moment.

Hearing approaching horses, he threw on his clothes, left the room and went outside. Heath, McCall and Jimmy were on their horses; they didn't look very happy. He took a guess and asked, "Found some more fence line cut?"

"Yes, we did," Heath answered, feeling very much uncomfortable. His brother had not once brought up the subject of his real name to him again, and, as far as he knew, Jarrod was right when he said 'Patrick' didn't think of himself as any more than an employee. Patrick also been pretty much keeping to himself, either in a room he didn't know was his or at the small home Cat and he shared, when he wasn't working.

"We were thinking to break off in small groups and go searching again. You can go with whichever group you'd like, Patrick," McCall spoke up. The fact that Heath flinched ever so slightly was something that the other men missed, due to looking at him instead of Heath, but he saw it.

'_It be not McCall's place to be ridin' alongside 'eath Barkley.'_ Cat's words rang again in his ears. _"Nicolas to be exact, but you went by Nick."_ Jarrod's words followed. Patrick sighed; he knew she never lied and was seldom mistaken. He also knew how much the Barkleys were genuinely concerned about him. He didn't have to be so cold. Nick looked from Heath to McCall. "I may, or may not, remember everything on my own, but," he said as he looked back at Heath, not surprised to see the turmoil in his eyes, and then back to McCall, the conversation with Jarrod still fresh on his mind, "name's Nick. I'm riding with Heath." He turned abruptly and went to get his horse.

Not knowing about the conversation between Heath and Patrick down at the docks, or the one between Patrick and Jarrod in the middle of the night the week before, McCall looked at Heath, gave him a smile and said, "We'll get him back all the way. You wait and see; he'll remember everything."

"_Name's Nick._" The look in his brother's eyes said, '_I'm taking your word on this.'_ It made Heath's hopes rise higher than they'd been in a long time. He gave their foreman a small crooked smile. "I hope so; the way things are ain't right." It didn't take Nick long to join the men. Before long, they'd joined the others and separated into the small groups they wanted.

"Any idea where to start?" Nick asked as he, Heath and Jimmy headed down the road.

"Work our way up to the far north end of the ranch and then back down, unless we find something, or someone, first," Heath answered. He wanted to say more, but he didn't know what.

Although it had nothing to do with the business on hand, Nick made Heath sit straight up, and the men with them hang back, when he said, "Jarrod wants me to take over running the ranch. How do you feel about that?" He looked at the blond haired brother to see his reaction. He wasn't surprised when the man stiffened, but he took it wrong. That being the case, he was shocked when Heath answered.

"I'd say it was high time he got around to asking you to. I know McCall will be overjoyed if you do. He doesn't mind working for us, but he doesn't like giving orders he feels you should be giving."

"Cat…" Nick started to speak only to find himself bringing his horse to an abrupt halt. "See what I see?"

Heath and the others turned their gaze in the direction Nick was pointing. Smoke! The small group put their horses on a dead run. The small group turned the bend in the path they were on to see the McQueen boys and a stranger hurrying away from a brush fire they'd started. Some of the men flew off their horses to fight the fire while Nick, Heath and Jimmy rode after the men. It took a few minutes, but soon the six men were fighting it out. It didn't take long to subdue the McQueen boys, but the stranger was another story.

Nick, after spying the stranger, was startled to finally have a flashback of being attacked, the man was in it! What shocked Nick was to literally hear the man calling him Mr. Barkley! Fury burned inside him as he realized he'd not been dreaming about his employers, but his family! While the flashback did not open a gate wide open and let the rest of his memories through, he now knew why the Barkleys had been so willing to go to such lengths to keep him on the ranch. Flying off his horse, his fists flew and his legs connected with the man more than once.

Having secured the McQueen boys, Heath and Jimmy, due to the fact that they could see the stranger had lost, but Nick wasn't stopping, stepped in and forced the fight to stop. "Whoa, Nick, he's beat, you don't need to kill him."

"Why not!" Nick bellowed and he about dropped Heath with his next words. "He was one of the men who attacked me! He may, or may not be, the man who shot me! He's one of the reasons I've spent the past six and half months not knowing a thing!"

Heath turned on the man who lay on the ground struggling to get up only to find more than one rifle pointed at him. "Who are you and why attack him?" Heath demanded, as he continued to do what he could do hold Nick back.

"It was Luke." The man held his side and spat out the words angrily. "Luke Woodland. He thought your brother had the three thousand dollars on him; we didn't know you and that attorney brother of yours had it."

"Why come back here now?" Nick bellowed. He didn't figure he needed to ask why the man hadn't come after him 'back then'; after all, the men thought he was dead. At least, it was the assumption he was willing to live with. "Why come and start all this trouble?"

The man glared at the McQueen boys who looked as if they wanted to find a rock to crawl behind and hide. "Believe it or not, it had nothing to do with the attack on you back then. They," he pointed towards the McQueens, "hired me. They said we needed to keep your family busy while they looked for the gold you had found and hidden."

It took a minutes for Nick to remember the many conversations he'd had with Cat, some of them had included the fact that he'd found "his gold", including the night of the church social. He shook his head; the stupidity of some people, "They were mistaken!" Nick growled as he forced the man to his feet. "It wasn't that kind of gold I found." He then looked at Heath and, not wanting him to think that he, Nick, had remembered everything simply asked, "Do you think Jarrod could spare me a few minutes?"

Heath gave him a lopsided grin. "I'm sure he could."

Epilogue

The breeze blew through the air as Nick knelt down by his wife's headstone; they'd been able to make arrangements to bury Cat in a spot that lay near the river. He ran his fingers over the lettering and smiled sadly. "Well, girl, I had that talk with Pappy." He glanced off to his right; Heath was sitting on his horse, waiting patiently for him; they had work to do. Nick swallowed hard, and then said, "I still don't remember everything, but I remember enough, enough to know they ain't lying to me; they're my family and the ranch is my home. Guess, I got luckier than most men. I got three pots of gold at the end of my rainbow: my family, the ranch and," he said before pausing as a single tear ran down his cheek, "for a short golden period of time, you." He stood up, put his hat back on and headed for his horse.

**Author's note:**

**To the best of my knowledge when one gets amnesia they one, get their memories back, two, only get part of their memory back or three, don't get it back at all. For whatever reasons that be, he refused to get all his memories back, but I couldn't leave him without any either.**


End file.
